Chronicles of a Bohiemian Teenager

Isn't Neglect Enjoyable?

2011-07-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

I wonder if I can revive this. Hey, it's only been a year right? Why not :)

Well, almost a year. I made it back before August 12th so it still counts! Okay so here's the plan. I miss this blog dearly and wish to return and actually keep up with regular posting, despite my flaky past. So like an ex-boyfriend returning from the years of braces I wish to continue our relationship and pretend as though nothing happened. This meaning I will begin to post regularly again and we'll all refrain from judgement. Got it? Good ;)

SIX DAYS!? WHAT THE HELL!?

2010-08-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

My summer's almost over :( I'm a little disappointed because I think this year has been my favorite. All I did was relax and party and hang out with people that I never get to see. I am a little depressed though. Oh well. Junior year should be fun :) I have to get pumped! So here are the reasons I should be hella pumped for junior year.

Reasons That Going Back To School Will Not Suck
1. All of my friends and the new ones I'll be making
2. Salsa on the Square with my friends when I get back!...hopefully x)
3. My birthday is in 13 days! :)
4. My Super Sweet Moulin Rouge 16th birthday is in 16 days :)
5. The constant amount of plays I'll be in
6. More partying with my friends
7. My liscense
8. I'm officially allowed to date my boyfriend! Like a normal person! YES!
9. One word. Prom :)
10. All the items on my Bucket List for me to check off...

You know what? Maybe I shouldn't be bummed that summer is over. It's just a new beginning :)

Happy 2 am Everybody!

2010-08-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

Yep. It's two am. And I have a lot to do tomorrow.
Funny how I've already made more progress than I typically do if I have a full night's rest.
Seriously though, I'm forcing myself to go into super working mode. I don't have that much summer left (sheds tear) and I need to cram in work and fun if I want to have fond and wonderful memories. But unfortunately business is first.
NUMBA 1. I must beg my mother to let me sleepover at Adrienne's on Friday due to the fact I need out of this house and I love and miss that girl
NUMBA 2. For AP summer reading I have to summarize a New Yorker and Washington post article and begin my essay on Henry David Thoreau's Walden. (Which if any of you have read, a synopsis would be nice)
NUMBA 3. (Annoyed with my spelling yet? :) Scour my room for things that are useless to me that I can give to charity
NUMBA 4. Memorize my lines for Metamorphoses so I'm set when I get back to school
NUMBA 5. Detirmine exactly how this 16th birthday of mine is going to work.
NUMBA 6. Make banana bread. AND CAKE because I've been craving that forever
NUMBA 7. Pray for a happy end to summer

You know, I should really probably get some sleep

The Mighty Yogurt Man

2010-07-29T13:41:00.000-07:00

My house has been overrun and terrorized by two not-so-small children and a carton of KeyLime yogurt.

SAVE ME

Not Over Yet :)

2010-07-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

As you can tell from my pictures, I have been having a busy and utterly amazing summer :) I got back from New York three days ago and I haven't stopped until today. Friday I had to clean up everything we left during vacation as well as grab lunch with my best friend and hug attack my boyfriend after two weeks of being away. Yesterday was waking up, getting dressed, jumping in the car with my boyfriend and riding in the back of his dad's 1951 Ford pickup for a parade through Hamilton. I'm sunburned like crazy x) We stopped, grabbed McDonald's and hung out in a cafe until his mom drove me to Rachel's where I changed clothes, shot the breeze with her (and her dad for that matter) and sped off to grab ice cream before going to see a few of our friends in Children of Eden. Amazing show by the way, if you get a chance to see it, do so. Anyway after this her and I sped over to Waffle House and talked about my trip and gossiped. I left at one in the afternoon and got home at eleven. Wonderful day :)

Imma G Imma G Imma Imma Imma G :)

2010-06-16T13:51:00.000-07:00

Guess who just planned one of her friends' suprise birthday party OUT OF NOWHERE?!
Alexx did!
Yeah, me and my friend Rannie have been planning a suprise party for our friend Craig off and on and we just realized it was Friday and we hadn't done anything other than invite people. And in under an hour while talking to her we just choreographed an entire plan for Friday. Oh yeah ;)
Though Rannie has busted her ass on this way more than me. Everyone have a round of applause for Rannie please. Yes, I know you're at your computers, clap for her anyway. She is also a G. We're hoping to be the suprise party duo in the future :)
In other news, I'm aware of my lack of blogging skills. Again. I think the Blogger community should come together as one and flog me. I truly do love my blog, but I'm so busy all the time it's crazy.
So let's see, recent news. I am out for the wonderful hiatus known as summer vacation. Which is quite relaxing, yet amazingly hot at certain times. I attempted to walk around the neighborhood were my boyfriend lives, but halfway home we called his mom to come and save us before we died of heat stroke. Because we're such enduring children like that :) Though in our defense we did make it all the way to a shopping center by his house! He bought me a panda :)
Oh and I crossed #96 on my Bucket list! I CONQUERED MY FEAR OF ROLLER COASTERS! :D Last month my school took all the kids who passed the OGTs to Kings Island and I BECAME A RIDE WARRIOR.
I rode Diamondback, the biggest coaster in the park.
WIN :)

6 Months Today

2010-04-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend and I have officially put up with each other for half a year now :)

I hate to be the girl to gush over her boyfriend or make a big deal about anniversaries, especially ones that aren't even technically anniversaries. But Wren is my first boyfriend and I'm usually the strict "I don't need a man" feminist that I'm proud to be.

But I also like my boyfriend a whole lot and I'd like the excuse to be a little girly. :)

So yeah, six months ago today I started dating Wren. I was really wary at first because I'd never had a boyfriend before, but he was really funny and really nice so I gave it a shot. Six months later I'm glad I did :) He came over earlier today and we walked around my neighborhood and watched part of Anastasia. Nothing all that special. But it was okay because I was with him.

Though we did get each other gifts. Mine was lame of course. We have an inside joke involving pandas and since I can't drive I gave my friend some money and sent her to Hot Topic to get a panda sticker, button and some Pop Rocks. I thought it was a decent gift.

But he's adorable.

He eventually got me to admit my gift to him because he's a ho like that, but I only let him give me hints about it. Because I am a GOOD child who doesn't pry people for what they got her.

I hope he reads this ;)

Anyway, he told me I had his gift already, but he wanted to make it special. I had absolutely no idea what he could have possibly gotten me, but today he made me close my eyes and set a orange bag with green tissue paper in my lap. He gave me permission to open it and I plucked the green paper out and dug for my gift.

Inside was a really beautiful hardback journal with a flower on the clasp. Which would have been amazing on it's own, I almost blushed just out of the fact he remembered I liked to write so much. "Oh my God," I said, completely contented with my gift.

"Wait," he said undoing the clasp and flipping the book open to the first pages. He had pictures of us on the inside of the front cover :) He flipped to the back and there were even more. I gave him a huge hug.

Aw yeah. My boy does pretty well for himself :)

The Magical Ghetto World of 13th Street

2010-04-13T14:01:00.000-07:00

As many of you may know by now, I am a proud student of The School for Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati, Ohio. What many of you do NOT know however, is the source of SCPA's power. The place where all of us turn for breakfast, the sanctuary of the children who get off the bus hungry, the very food that gives us enough substainance to survive our grueling school day followed by neverending rehearsals...
And this magical place I speak of, would be Tucker's. :)
For the unfortunate souls who have never set foot in the wonderously teeny, child packed, grease filled hole in the wall known as Tucker's, it's a tiny restruant that specializes in greasy food and Kool Aid served in plastic cups.
They also happen to have the cheapest and greatest tasting pancakes in the universe.
Or at least the greatest above 13th street. However it's in an incredibly skep part of the neighborhood as SCPA kids would say. You go straight down 13th street, past the stores with barred windows, past the groups of hobos and their brown paper bags filled with 45s, to this little hole in the wall store filled with greasy skillets and clusters of sleepy-eyed kids fresh of the Metro. And Asu and I detirmined that we needed to go.
Each of us showed up 45 minutes before school and we're plopped groggily in a cafeteria booth with our friend Jon. "Can you text Skylar and tell him to go to Tucker's?" I asked. He inquired as to why the hell I would make him text Skylar to bring my lazy ass some food. When I told him I hadn't eaten breakfast, he decided I was and I quote "draggin' my healthy ass" down 13th street to get my own damn pancakes. I was a little wary at first. After all both my parents had made it three hundred and sixty-six percent clear that hell would be open as an ice skating rink before I would be allowed to walk down 13th. But my parents wouldn't have to know.
So I drug my healthy ass to Tucker's :)
Asu and I made hilarious conversation as we usually do as we sauntered past barred businesses and bums with paper bags of alcohol. As the sun rose over my city and we passed a Shepard Fairey mural (jizz) we made our way into a darkly lit one room restruant with a single long counter with stools to serve as seats. We plopped down and ordered a jumbo pancake (a house specialty with powdered sugar on top and cinnamon in the dough. Aww yeah. Just feel those arteries clog) we discussed starting a band until our friends Gaby and Skylar showed up. The situation as a whole made me happy.
Except for the FRESHMEN.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.
You see, at Tuckers, you watch your food being made. So Asu and I had front row seats as we watched a bearded guy in a short sleeved black button up pour batter onto the skillet to make our pancake. The way he sprinkled on cinnamon and flipped it slowly was almost sensual to us hungry teenagers. We watched that pancake from it's birth. We knew the pancake. We smelled the pancake. We had a physical connection to the pancake.
That was OUR damn pancake...
Or at least it was until the guy boxed it up, asked if anyone called in for a pancake and a little ho in the back raised her hand. Asu and I almost went crazy. Our friend Jon told Asu her name later on. In the words of Asu
"You just participated in a murder." xD

Shepard Fairey and Hamburgers

2010-04-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days that went thousands of times better than expected. Especially since I went to school fully expecting to be missing limbs by the time the day was out.
Turns out not only was my crazy director the opposite of terrifying today, but my crazy history teacher couldn't get her computer working worth her life this morning, giving as a 45 minute study hall. Lunch was all of my friends and myself outside, laughing our arses off, Kali and I discussing X rated study hall discussions from freshman year and me and Michael speaking of how next year at homecoming, we'd probably be the ones leaving our actual dates hanging to dance with each other.
But that was far from the best part. When The Vagina Monologues released us early, my mother picked me up for dinner at Hamburger Mary's (this local Cincinnati place that is really good, but BEWARE THE FIVE CHEESE BURGER. The blue cheese has some awkwardly crazy flavor to it that will kill you. Trust me, I learned the hard way) and then we shot off to test out the new exhibits at the Contemporary Arts Center.
I love that place. I've always thought it was so weird how national monuments mean nothing, yet art muesuems and libraries are sacred places to me. Always have been. Because of the CAC I am now a fan of Marilyn Minter's Chewing Color. The exhibit was wonderful and unique, made up mainly of photographs showing glamorous things from unglamorous angles, such as designer shoes in mud puddles or high fashion makeup caked onto faces. While her movie was a little odd, (okay, I'll just say it, very creepy) I'm a huge fan of her photos 'Pop' and 'Tights' and I could have stared at her painting 'Glazed' for hours.
Shilpa Gupta though, who was on the same floor as Minter was, just sort of scared me. Her work was creepy and I didn't get anything from it until I read the little side cards. She attempted to use sculture and audio to show the plight of widows in the Middle East and tried to show childhood objects as rays of hope, such as a balloon that said "I Want To Fear No More." That was the only peice of work in the entire exhibit that even had a tiny impact on me.
But Shepard Fairey.
Oh God, Shepard Fairey.
I have newly become a diehard fan of his. Shepard Fairey is the one who created the famous red, white, and blue poster of Obama that has become iconic during his election. And his work is breathtaking.
Fairey is one of those rare artists who produces beautiful work that also causes you to think at the same time. To compare his art to literature, his works have a type of Animal Farm and Fahrenhiet 451 feel to them. Only while those books depict people as sheep, showing how easily they're taken over and run by forces foreign to them, Fairey does the complete opposite. He brings out the uniqueness and wonder in people by treating them as sheep. His entire exhibit, Supply and Demand is reverse pyschology. Other than the Obama poster, Fairey is best known for his Andre the Giant and OBEY stickers and symbols that appear in almost every one of his works. As you move through the exhibit, gazing at his paintings and his collages, which depict images such as aka 47's shooting roses and a happy family, Daddy holding a US Treasury briefcase, both parents cradling a bomb; the monsterous face and OBEY symbol seems to show up in almost everyone of his works, making you automatically question it's meaning. And once you can't find it's meaning, you begin to question everything in the exhibit.
This is exactly what Mr. Fairey wants you to do.
He wants you to wonder and ask questions and keep yourself from becoming the sheep that we are set to become according to Bradbury and Orwell. And you do as you wander through the exhibit, taking notice of pieces that mix mediums, paint and collage as well as symbols of war and peace. His images shown in pieces like "Uncle Scam" which depicts a devilish looking Uncle Sam holding skulls marked 'Human Rights' 'Civil Liberty' and 'Privacy', to show you the horrors that could occur if we allow government to control everything around us. Paintings such as "Evolve Devolve" which shows a windmill and an oil drill, a distance away from each other, yet against the same sunset, makes you stop and wonder for a moment if so called 'Progress' really is just taking us backwards.
The man easily does what some artists spend they're lives trying to do. He uses a figure and a word as simple as Andre the Giant and OBEY to evoke questions and emotion within people. And if art doesn't do that my friend, what good is it to us? But luckily Mr. Fairey does that exact thing with such grace that I will no doubt be questioning his art and my emotions about it for years to come.

Happy Jesus Zombie Day!! :D

2010-04-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

I personally think I look quite lovely sideways

I should've known everything would go crazy once the universe realized I was trying to post regularly again. Interesting how it always does that. Actually the universe really has not been a fan of mine lately. For instance, on Monday I have to face the wrath of my senior director for The Vagina Monologues because I have to miss a photo shoot on Thursday to do something for and actual drama teacher. She called and blew up on me and my mom. I'm at the point where I'm really hoping she kicks me out.

But I've been dwelling on this problem enough and the energy to worry is tiring, so we're going to talk about something happy.

Jesus Zombie Day :)

Or as it is known in layman's terms, Easter. This is the day we celebrate Jesus's rise from the dead by hiding plastic eggs filled with candy and committing homicide on our siblings trying to collect the most. Well, at least that's how it works in my family :) Every Easter morning it's a horrid race between me and my brother, dashing through our yard, scrounging for whatever sign of a plastic egg we can find. We've ended the morning with a massive amount of candy and $5 dollars each...courtesy of my dad since he didn't help my mom hide the eggs :) And now once I upload a picture of our lovely morning and before I go to my grandmother's I am going to waltz downstairs and watch a lovely, wonderful family friendly easter movie...

Sherlock Holmes :)
Happy Easter everyone!!!

Spring Break Is Winding Down...

2010-03-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

As much as I hate to admit to it, I know it is. Unfortunately once Tuesday hits, I will be thrown back into monologues, one acts, and the multiple productions that I have neglected for the past week. Or maybe not so unfortunately. I've been feeling a little down since Thursday and to be honest when I'm not memorizing lines or going somewhere for or with my friends, I feel quite useless. And I truly have been useless almost this full week. Well, of course last Friday was spectatuclar. That was the day I exposed all of my friends to the suburbs

and my boyfriend. We had far too much fun running all over the park by my house and hanging out in my room. Saturday was a Rachel day, heading to Chipotle, then the movies for Alice in Wonderland. Which we were almost late for because we were too busy white girl dancing to Ch-Check It Out by the Beastie Boys in the back of her Camero :) This wonderful adventure was followed by Jungle Jims cheesecake on a stick, Starbucks, and the to Meijer for Disney Princess coloring books and a DVD of Swan Princess. This is in fact the very movie she stayed over to watch.

Monday my mother and I roamed through Clifton, stopping at The Spicy Pickle and later finally trying out Bubble Tea and all of Tuesday afternoon was spent at Wren's watching Mystery Science Theatre and being judged by him due to his superior pinball and bowling skills (and that is the ONLY time anyone will ever hear me admit to that!) Wendsday was the library and Applebees with my mother along with sword fighting with Evan. And Thursday afternoon was reading my new finds and snuggling and watching Up with Wren. And in two hours or so I get to go see my friend who's coming up from Virginia to stay the remaining days of spring break at my house...

You know, maybe this wasn't such a bad break after all :)

It's A Long Paisley Hippie Dress Type of Day

2010-03-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

Now today is what felt like the first day of spring. :)

Today in Cincinnati it was a sunny, temperate, beautiful day. It started out with me dragging myself out of bed at ten o'clock (Sleeping in CHA-CHING) and watching Ellen with my mother. She then dropped me off at the most magical place in the world.The library :)
Call me a geek, but libraries evoke almost a spiritual response in me. I feel safe and wonderful in libraries.
After checking out about ten books my mother picked me up and we sped off to Applebees where we excessively overate and talked about women who gossip about the two of us...who were sitting a table away x) We then retrieved my brother and both of us got home we had a rousing plastic sword fight (Which I most definitely won) after which I was feeling much like Wendy from Peter Pan :) After that we sat on the porch and drank pink lemonade...right before two ADORABLE girls from Evan's school came a calling! :D I sang Hunk-a-Hunk-of-Burnin'-Love ALL day long just to rub in the fact I know Evan still thinks they had cooties ;)

Eve Ensler and the Tapioca Monster

2010-03-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ugggh, my stupid freaking life. I've been trapped in the house all day long while my mom is at weaving class, counting down the hours until four o'clock when I get to go to Wren's house. A minute ago I called each of my parents to determine who was driving me. The earliest either of them can get me there is five, giving me a whopping amount of barely three hours with my boyfriend. Grrrrrrr...
I must try to distract myself though. I do have a lot of work to do, that is true. I may as well make my to do list and attempt to check some things off before I have to tell Wren the shitty news that our time got cut back. AGAIN. Grrr....must make list!

To Do List For The Date of March 24th

1. Try to magically use the law of attraction to get one of my parent's home early

2. Pick the Bucket List item you need to work on. (I mean I only have 1,675 along with the options in all the books I own. Not too hard to whittle down right?)

3. Finish reading Our Town

4. Figure out where to get a copy of the play you actually SHOULD be reading. (Greater Tuna anyone?)

5. Start memorizing the Durang monologue for acting class so Roth will continue to worship the ground you walk on. Also try to find a copy of Because He Liked To Look At It which they couldn't get to you and make some headway in memorizing Protect Your Pocketbook (Yeeeah, what many of you don't know because I've been absent for so long is that I'm currently in a student directed production of The Vagina and Pocketbook Monologues to help these two girls with their senior projects. And I'm loving how The Pocketbook Monologues are supposed to be strong wonderful pieces to empower black women and my director has split the monologue Protect Your Pocketbook between two white girls...and my director's black. Yep. I've decided it's best not to question and just be thankful I have a job. Besides...it's a cool monologue)

6. Scrub your teeth until they bleed....well maybe not until they bleed, because that would stain them again.

7. Type up a new post (Check)

8. Read through all of that college application material and try to determine if there's anything you can do as a sophomore to get your butt into a good school

9. Finish drinking the bubble tea you got yesterday in Clifton (Ewww, this may be the only one I don't have the heart to finish. But then again I have to. Otherwise if left in my fridge too long, the tapioca bubbles could band together and rise up into an unstoppable force hell bent on taking over, first my house then THE WORLD!!! Yeah, I don't want to die at the hands of a tapioca beast. I should just suck it up and drink that)

10. Upload all those pictures to Facebook and then try to write a song. Anything to distract you from how badly you want out of this house!!!

A Funderful Romp With The Wonderful Rachella

2010-03-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

After the invasion of my friends on Friday, yesterday I had a wonderfully, quiet day with Rachel Schwarz...
Ha. that's hard to even type with a straight face :)
The fact is that mere hours after my friends partied at my house on Friday, Rachel was outside in her blue Camero making it clear we were going to see Alice in Wonderland. After throwing her brother off to play with my brother, we sped off to Chipotle where we recounted our mystical weeks and awkward friends over burritos and veggie bowls. After that we shot over to Springdale to catch the 6:30 show. There were some obnoxious kids that kept running back and forth all over the theatre, but we were talking the whole movie anyway about our connection to the characters and our deep sexual urges for Johnny Depp :) But somehow even after Chipotle, we were starving when we left.
Jungle Jim's anyone?
We thought it was appropriate and armed with a twenty and various gift cards we ran through the market talking in exposing Rachel to the Robin Hood tree, romping through the beer cave, and talking in British accents nearly the entire time after seeing a tea pot with a Union Jack sticker. Leaving armed with Starbucks, candy, and cheesecake on a stick we decided to take on our most recent mission.
Find a DVD of the musical Hair.
Being the closet hippies we are, (or with me maybe not so closeted) we ran through Meijer in mad search of our favorite anti establishment musical...
We left with Swan Princess and a Disney coloring book instead :)
And we stayed up until two commenting on how Prince Derek didn't start to love Odette until she grew boobs.
I love Rachel Schwarz :)

It's Been Oh So Long...Let's Ignore That :)

2010-02-04T18:45:00.000-08:00

Dear my 29 followers of my blogger community,
As some of you may have noticed I have completely killed the purpose of blogging and have completely neglected you the past few months. For this I am sincerely sorry and I promise that I shall now begin blogging even more seeing as for the first time in what feels like an eternity, I may actually have free time.
Thank you, please don't give up on me!
Alexx :)

Hehehehe 9/9/09 :)

2009-09-09T17:50:00.000-07:00

Why is it that whenever my life speeds up my writing is the first thing to go? Why can't it be something sensible like my exercise or healthy eating? :)
Anyway, I really am sorry I've dumped my blog since I've started school. It's just I was dropped into sophmore year and everything started happening so fast! Suddenly after months of sleeping in and lacking initiative, out of nowhere, all my friends are not only availiable to me again, but so were auditions, and electives, and...unfortunately, homework. It went from me lounging around the house all day long to leaving my house at seven am and being lucky if I get home at 8. It's insane! It's craziness!...
AND I LOVE IT!!!:D
But please understand that if my posts are scarce, I still love you guys! I'm just living xD

After it all...

2009-08-17T19:37:00.001-07:00

Countless postcards, many new friends, sixteen hours in the car, three hotel rooms, multiple shopping trips, and an unbelievable number of ice cream runs, summer's over. Gone. Poof. I wake up at 6:30 tomorrow and begin my trek through sophmore year. Sure I'm said summer's over, but there's something I realized.
Last year when my dad dropped me off at SCPA for the first time, it was like Woodstock without the music. There was love everywhere you look, every single person you laid eyes on was hugging another, or multiple others for that matter. And I knew no one. I don't think I've ever felt more alone in my life. A year ago from tomorrow was standing helplessly and afraid watching her new, scary school as everyone within it was running around outside hugging like they hadn't seen each other in years. I don't think I've ever felt more alone in my life. And this year I'll be PART of the lovefest! And I when I hug the first person tomorrow, I'll really know I finally belong :)

Happy summer everyone.

Go With The Bigger Quieter Dogs

2009-08-05T09:41:00.000-07:00

I don't hate animals.
Really I don't.
And I tell you this in hopes that it will make you sympathize with my poor, sleep deprived soul once I explain events I endured at our cabin last night.
All right, let me give you the picture. Our scene opens on a young girl and her family, pulling up a dusty dirty road. As they leave their car, enter a small, sickly dog from stage left. This dog, which is later identified as Keerby, begins to bark manically at the family, until it's owner, our main character's Aunt Jennifer, calms it. As the night wears on, the dog is soothes and seems to become a good cute adorable little thing. Scene closes.
New scene flashes up. View the back porch of a rustic cabin in the middle of the woods, lined with beds. Our main character lays motionless, but wide eyed, attempting to fall asleep. However, she notices something. It seems as though every move our main character makes which involves attempting to catch any form of zzzs this dog which previously barked at her seems to fidget, or bark, or proceed to breathe as if it shall cough up one of it's lungs at some random second. Meaning no matter how many times our main character attempts to snooze, it seems as though she is unable to.
The night passes slowly as the unbearable yipper seems to know no end to his noise. Around three am, hours after attempted snoozing to no avail, the main character's thoughts grow dark. A former animal lover with a dog of her own, our main character is deeply disturbed by these thoughts, however also intrigued in an odd sort of way, much like when characters in movies or crime shows have odd random things that turn them on in weird ways they can't explain. After all, the main character thinks, if she were to drop kick said tiny doggy down the road, how much distance would she get? Would her legs be strong enough to rocket the noisy animal to at least a fifty to sixty foot marker? And also, if she were to wing said dog with all her might into the lake from the cabin porch, could she in fact rocket it to the other side?
This sort of thinking is the only thing that gets our character through the following four hours of yiping, snorting, and breathing up of dog organs, until around 7 o'clock pm and no sleep to speak of, but a noisy doze here and there, (and after a futile attempt to sleep on the deck) enter our main characters mother, who shuts said dog up and allows our main character to finally grasp the sleep she has been seeking. End scene.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, the main character is me. And with God as my witness, I vow that I shall never own anything smaller than a German shepard or golden under any circumstances for the rest of my life. God I'm tired...

Ooooooh my Goooooooood...

2009-07-28T12:09:00.001-07:00

Okay so I've gone from seeing Broadway shows, working all day long in studios, and playing in the ocean to sleeping until noon and praying for my mom to have errands to run. Wow, I have a pretty pitiful existence at the moment. And I was fooled into thinking that I my awesome existence would continue And I have a lot to tell you about New York and Cape Cod, but I don't know where to begin. I mean I saw the ocean for the first time, I saw my first Broadway play, I made friends from all over the country, I went shopping in The Village, I was told my monologue was great by a person who won an Emmy, I learned to dance hip hop, I saw Avenue Q on Broadway (changed. my. LIFE), and sang 'Lion Sleeps Tonight' in four part harmony on top of a building in Times Square. Yeah, yeah I really did that. Only problem is, I have no idea where or how to begin telling you all of these things...
So I figured the best way to go about this is that I won't. :)
I'll just continue speaking of my general life and if anything comes up that reminds me of said trip (or if any of you comment just DYING to know about it) I'll write a bit about it.
Anyway, now that I've had my summer FUN the rest of my free days will most likely be crammed with summer duties such as practicing guitar, which I failed to do yesterday, getting ready for my Cincinnati Children's Theater audition, right after I found out I have a sore throat and of course, finishing my summer reading, in which there are two of three projects I haven't even started on.
Huh. Maybe I should get off Blogger...

Sweet Home Cincinnati

2009-07-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

16 hours of driving, 14 postcards, thirteen days, 4 Hair songs, 2 Broadway shows, countless new friends, multiple ocean views, one whale watching, and one Broadway audition later, I'm finally back home at 11:37 pm eastern standard time after travelling since seven this morning. Like I said. Sixteen hours. Meaning maybe I should update this along with my other Internet sources tomorrow. Wow, two whole weeks. Dear God. I fear my Facebook notifications.

Until The 25th Fellow Bloggers. Farewell for Now!

2009-07-10T14:53:00.000-07:00

The bags are packed. The animals are taken care of. The iPod is charged...or charging. Bottom line is I'm less than TWELVE hours away from my two day trip to New York to try to become not only a bohemian, but a classically trained, possibly Broadway worthy bohemian.

Wow I can't believe I'm about to do this. I get to learn in midtown Manhattan from Broadway professionals, go behind the scenes at a Broadway show, and most importantly get to audition for a Broadway show. All because of such a horrid audition! Ahhhh! I just hope that everything works out the way it needs to inside of my own mind. I'm going to miss everyone...

But let's cover the important things. :)
Okay, I would just like to let you know what I expect of you guys before I leave. I want you guys to tell me 5 things you want to do before you die. Please try not to tell me about things involving New York though or I'll be mad I didn't do them xD Anyway, I just ask you guys to do that if you comment on me. And if you could tell some people to follow me, that would be awesome.

Thanks guys! I'll be back in two weeks and I'll tell you all about my adventures in the Big Apple.

Wish me luck... ;D

Dance Bag? I'm an actress I don't know how to do this! XD

2009-07-07T09:06:00.000-07:00

You know, if you ever need to remind yourself about how much you dislike your body, go leotard shopping. Really. You'll feel good about yourself for a whole five minutes before you realize you're squeezing into an extra large because you have too many curves to fit into your usual small. :)
Yup, I went leotard shopping for the first time in my life today. Never have I been so inspired to become anorexic as I was trying to squeeze into those spandex body corsets. The lady at the desk was like 'What do you wear a small?' Of course I wear small. I always wear small for probably every shirt I wear. But apparently when you're shopping for leotards you multiple your actually size by at least three. Considering I forced myself into a small and it made the thing Keira Knightly was shoved into in the first Pirates movie look like a nightgown.
I got one that fit though. Even if it took a few lung ruptures to find. But luckily I got it along with ballet shoes, tap shoes, and a ton of Soffee shorts...and these awesome black and pink skull leg warmers!:D My dance bag for New York is gonna be SWEET. Which brings me to my question.
I'm fasting from Blogger for a few days so I don't get distracted from getting ready for New York. So I have ONE HUGE question.

If you were going to performing arts camp in New York City, and you were me, what would you pack?

Seriously guys I need a packing list! Please comment with ideas! Thanks!

PS Oh and in other news, I hung out with Rachel yesterday. My mom dropped me and Evan off at her house and we played pool and talked about Starlight Express and walked around her street. Oh and the best part was when Catie called me. My friend Catie Wells calls me everyday and today I didn't feel like talking because I was with Rachel. So after she called my cell about three times (Yeah. Yeah she'll do that) I handed it to Rachel. And in a flawless Apu voice she picked it up to go "HAL-O?"
"Hello is Alexx there?"
"No I know no Alexx. I sell you chicken?"
"Oh, I have the wrong'-"
"I SELL YOU CHICKEN?!"
She hung up XD Oh Rachel. I love you.

Yes, I'm aware I've denied you for the better part of...over a week XP

2009-07-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, if there are blog police I need to be beaten at this point. I've neglected you for a while haven't I? Well, uh, the best I can say is sorry and it's been the week from hell. Show week has overlapped with Girl Scout camp (Which is not something you necessarily NEED to hear about, but I'm just telling you) and when that was over I was in the city for a day and then the cabin (Ah the cabin. The land of nonexsistent calories.) for the most uneventful, fireworks free Fourth of July of my life and...wait! I think everything I've done can be summed up in these two letters I wrote to my cousin. Sort of long, but then again, I have been absent for over a week. Here you go!

June 29th, 2009

Dear Katie,
Oh my God, you just called me and it made me want to write you another letter so badly! I miss you! And honestly what you said on the phone a couple minutes ago was one of the nicest things anyone’s said to me in a long time. I have such a cool awesome older cousin! :D I love how I couldn't’t think of anything to reply though. That’s a problem of mine. When people say crazily sweet, completely kind, and all round heartwarming things to me, I go into such a bad case of love shock I can’t think of anything else to say back. I should work on that. Hmm…
Anyway, I’m sorry I’m typing this, but I have so much to tell you and I type faster than I write. Maybe I’ll doodle something on it to make it more personal or something like that. Okay, I’ll start at Friday when I lost my orange letter notebook. Actually the main reason I was really pissed at losing that notebook was because I’d written you this really long, insane letter about Lucas. Because I’m so sure you’re definitely not sick of being bombed with letters about him now. XD He wanted to come to the show! I was so excited! I posted something on Facebook about being happy with opening night and out of nowhere Lucas wrote underneath my status ‘You have a show? You had better let me know where and when and what. The how is obvious’ Ah!!! It was actually pretty cute how much I freaked out, even though unfortunately, he didn’t show. It was okay though. I mean one; he’s working the opera this summer (Another minor detail I didn’t get to tell you about the party. He said he’d invite me sometime! Yes, a STRAIGHT guy invited me to the frigging OPERA. Jealous yet? :)
And two, I still have his book. Joke’s on him :)
Saturday was awesome too. I’ll send you that letter when I’m done with it, because it’s on the back of directions to the cast party like I told you and for some reason I find it hysterical that I stole useful information on a cast party I’m not even going to because I’m that addicted to writing to you. Not that it mattered that I wasn’t going to the cast party though. You know why? Okay, you’re going to flip when you first hear this, but guess what I did Saturday night?
I went to a bar with a bunch of twenty-year-olds from the show! XD
I honestly did! Well, okay the original plan was to go to Brentwood Bowl and we did, but of course since all the people I was with were over twenty and had just done a show, they weren’t really in the mood to actually bowl. But it was hilarious how it was me in the middle of a bunch of adults. And they actually looked out for me! It was so cute! The girl who played Ado Annie was like “Well they wanna go in and drink, but I’m not just gonna leave her out here by herself!”
“Oh my God I know!” Erin agreed. She’s was the really pretty, brunette who was dance captain for the show and did my hair and makeup every night. “We’re not just gonna be like ‘Yeah, peace Alexx!’ and leave her out here all alone!” So Kelly (aka Ado Annie) actually asked the people working and figured out that I could be in the room, just anyone underage had to stay ten feet away from the bar. So they got me a Sprite and proceeded to hold the ten feet rule against me. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in the bar in Brentwood Bowl, but leading up to it, there’s a carpeted area and we guessed that a the tile area started at the ten feet mark. So every time I put one foot over the carpet touching tile mark, Erin, Kelly, and John would scream “TEN FEET ALEXX! TEN FEET!” And also, it turns out that I’m Ali Hakim’s favorite kid. Ben gave me this reason when I apparently said something funny after he made a comment along the lines of ‘Hey little girl, aren’t you hittin’ that Sprite pretty hard?’
“She’s my favorite. You know why I like her?” Ben said. “Cuz she has a really quick wit for a fourteen-year-old. She’s like the female Oscar Wilde.”
“Thanks Ben, that actually means a lot.”
“Not really,” he said once he realized he said something that could’ve been taken as a compliment. “Oscar Wilde’s not really that great.”
“Edgar Allen Poe,” John, who played Curly, piped up.
“Not exactly known for wit John. More known for depressing stuff.”
“It’s okay Alexx,” Kelly laughed. “You can be the first emo kid of 1906.”
“Yeah,” I said laughing back. “I’ll be behind the schoolhouse with my black nail polish and thick eye makeup singing Green Day in my dress.”
That made her laugh. And that made me smile. Actually I only really stayed for an hour, but it was so much fun. The humor was so stupid. Kelly and I discussed my newfound emoness and she asked me about plays I’d been in before. I made Ben laugh and drank my Sprite and laughed even harder at the end of the night when Kelly and Erin came over to hug me good-bye.
“You gonna be okay?” They asked, both of them faking completely solemn voices. “You know, you were gettin’ pretty crazy with the Sprite and all…are you sure you can drive home?”
“Man, I know, I got pretty insane there,” I agreed. “It’s okay though, you know, I called my mom, I think she’s gonna drive me home.” Then I proceeded to fake a stumble that made them giggle.
I really loved hanging out with them. Things like that made me realize that what my dad said about quitting drinking was right. You honestly don’t need alcohol to have a good time. Hell, we were in a bar and I had a bunch of older friends with beer and fruity drinks openly within my reach and the only thing that I was drunk off of was the happiness at the fact I made them laugh. And that they thought I was a cool kid. It’s sort of at the point where I don’t even know if I’ll drink when I’m of age. Well, I might have a champagne or a beer sometime when I’m in my twenties, but I really don’t see the point of getting hammered when I’m sure it feels so much cooler and real just to be accepted. And getting high off that feeling doesn’t cause you to wake up with a headache and a call to your ex-boyfriend in your outbox. :)
Oh, and I learned to use a drill yesterday. Yes, I’m aware, random right after a deep moment of how I don’t need alcohol, but it was awesome :) After our finale matinee, it was time to strike the set (Actor Speak Definition. Strike stuh-RIKE noun/verb n: the event at the end of a show where all the techies and actors come together to rip apart set pieces and put the stage back to the beautiful state in which they found it. V: 2. the action of striking. The use of it in a sentence would include We need to go to strike and You need to strike that house before we take the lighting down. Food is not always provided, yet is STRONGLY recommended)
Wow. It took me ten minutes to write that whole definition thing. I have to stop doing that. XD Anyway, I was with Ben and a few other huge bulky guys, attempting to help them dismantle the set piece used for Jud’s shed. They got everything on top of the turntable regardless of the fact some of the screws would NOT come out. But that was okay, most of the ones that wouldn’t come out, Ben ripped out with his bare hands. I kid you not. He’s really a huge teddy bear and really funny and nice, but there are some things he can to with those muscles that make me REALLY happy he’s my friend.
Beside the point though. The point is, that Ben, being the 8 foot tall, bulky mass of muscle he is, always randomly gave me crap about being short. Every time he walked by during strike he was like ‘Thank you short one’ or ‘Hey little girl’ or ‘Would you please hold this tiny person?’ and each time I held back a Big Foot joke…mainly because it didn’t occur to me until just now. Son of a bitch that would’ve been so perfect!!! Anyway, when we got to the very base of the shack, where we’d taken down the walls and it was just the middle of the turntable elevated on a platform with legs, we hit a problem. The middle piece of the turntable would NOT come off. And we needed it got to dismantle the rest of the pieces.
“It’s not budging,” Ben said. “Hey Alexx, could you look under there and see if along this row is screwed in?” I said yes and crawled under the shack to inspect the piece of wood he’d just acknowledged.
“Yeah. Right along here.” A drill slide across the floor underneath the shed, stopping just a few feet from the side of my calf.
“There you go,” Ben said. Let me this opportunity to say I’ve never used a drill. In my life. Until then.
But guess who figured it out and then proceeded to dismantle at least three set pieces using only her handy yellow drill? Yup, your cousin :) It’s scarily empowering when you unscrew stuff for the first time. Even though in the words of one of the techies, you could light a cigarette with the screws when the first come out. That I found out very quickly.
But you know what’s even more empowering than being able to teach yourself how to use a drill in under a minute? Realizing this. There was no way in hell Ben could’ve squeezed under the shed. That’s right. That dork NEEDED my tinyness!!! :D
Of course, I remained humble though and did not comment on this fact…mainly because I couldn’t think of a joke worthy enough to figuratively smack him in the face for all those short stabs. :)
Uggh, I really want to talk to you, but it’s really late, and I’ve already had to type this letter so I can actually have one done and be able to send you a letter. I’ll keep it in and call you tomorrow. I hope everything gets better for you. I know you’re probably dealing with the problems you’re going through a lot more maturely than I could, but I still hope it gets better for you. Just promise me one thing.
Okay, the SECOND Rachel calls you, make it one hundred percent clear to her that I never gave her permission to leave Ohio. Tell her she has to come back immediately and get her permission slip signed before she leaves again. Pssst, there will be no permission slip :)

Love you Katie! Call you tomorrow,
Alexx

P.S By the way, it hit me a few minutes ago when I tore through my room in a fruitless search for my orange notebook that I still have your birthday present. What’s even funnier is the fact I’ve had it for about a month and it still isn’t wrapped. I should do that sometime tomorrow…yeah that would probably be a good idea…

July 1st, 2009
Dear Katie,
I had a random urge to do something with my life today. Out of nowhere you know? One of those things where you just sit up and go “You know what bitch? Carpe Diem! I’m makin’ today great!” Then you remember you’re a fourteen-year-old suburban girl with no car. Sort of puts a damper on your plans...
This is why I figured I should write you a letter instead of being lazy. I’m sorry I’m typing it again. It’s faster and I lost my favorite pen (along with my orange notebook) so I figured this would be the lesser of two evils between writing a letter on the computer vs. writing one on the back of my old to do list. Not that I did much today in the first place. My mom was out all day so I had to watch Evan and attempt to at least somewhat clean my room. You know, the intense level of crap I have is really criminal. I don’t know where half of the stuff laying on my closet floor came from really. Someone needs to set a law that is something along the lines of “Okay, you’re a human and you weigh this much, this is the list of the amount of stuff you can clog the world’s space with.” I think I need to have a yard sale or something, considering that my dresser has formed a mind of its own and something could be living in my closet and I wouldn’t know.
Oh well, I had fun yesterday though. I went to see Transformers with Gaby, Adrienne, and Jon, all of whom are SCPA friends that I haven’t seen since school let out. It was pretty amazing in IMAX, though we determined that dialogue made up two, maybe three pages of the script. The rest was action and stuff blowing up. Oh, and you’ll never guess who showed up in the exact same theater at the exact same time for the exact same movie. Half the Oklahoma cast :) Yep, Ben and Kelly were standing at the snack counter when I came in. John was a few feet ahead of me when I bought my ticket. I caught up with all of them afterwards and talked about the movie and witnessed Ben make fun of John with a fancy accent when he said he wanted to go to a sushi place and then Starbucks. Don’t worry if that doesn’t sound funny in the slightest possible way, you really had to be there. And Kelly made me feel like a completely cool kid when I told her my mom was here to pick me up and I couldn’t go with them to Friday’s afterwards.
“Well, bye,” I said, hugging her and thinking this would probably be the last time I’d see her. “I’ll miss you guys.” “Oh, you’ll see us again!” Kelly told me. “I promise! Just email me!”
Ah, yet another stupid thing that makes me crazy happy. She’s someone who I think is incredibly cool and she actually wants to see me again. Yay. I feel loved J
The only problem is I can’t do anything with them unless it’s in less than two weeks. Oh my God New York in less than two weeks! Ah!!!! Yes, I know I’ve probably already brought this up to you when you called me, but I can’t believe the thing I’ve panicked about since March is this close. That, and the fact that one of the only productive things I did today was make a list of all the things I have to do before I go. One of which is list the numbers of all the things I can check off my bucket list in those two weeks. And I should probably add ‘Give Katie her birthday present’ on there too, considering I really need to give you that and before I go is a good deadline...
It still isn’t wrapped. I should probably take care of that...
By the way, I think all I’ll be able to buy when we go shopping is a dress, mascara that I need, and some cheap eye shadow because I’m trying to save every cent I have for NYC. I can’t wait Katie! I’m freaking out, but I can’t wait! I have so many things I want to do! I have to get Tabari a kickass present! I have to buy a dress in The Village! I have to throw a paper plane off the Empire State Building!...I don’t even know if that’s legal, but I need to do it! And I’ll write to you as much as I can, every single day. I’ll send you postcards and tag you on Facebook when I get back and upload all the pictures. I’ll tell you about every crazy city kid, talented music nerd, and cut throat director I meet. I’ll list all the best places to eat, shop, and see. Then maybe when I’m eighteen we can go together and hit the spots. By then you’ll definitely have a job and be able to live there. After all, I remember you told me you can’t go there unless you’re going to live there. Which will probably be my problem. I’m afraid that I’m going to fall so in love with it, I won’t want to leave. :)

Gotta go. Love you! Write back!

So that's the jist of the past week or so. Don't even be bothered by the thing about the cabin though. All you really need to know there is that we shot a Barbie out of a spud launcher and then proceeded to shoot her down to sinking point with a .22. Yep. Epicness...however I have the strange feeling it's going to come up in therapy in a couple years XD

Should I Even Post This? Yes. No. Yess. NO! YES!!

2009-06-23T14:09:00.000-07:00

I want to remember this. I really want to tell everyone about this. But he found it last time. Will he think I'm a creeper for being so observant? Will he care? Should I care if he cares? Do I care if he cares? Why am I saying care so much? Is his opinion really that important to me?
Pretty much.
Okay, this is going to be another long post probably. You don't have to read it, you really don't, and I don't care if you do. Honestly. If you're one of my followers you probably have kids, or clothing, or an uber long blog of your own to look after. A post this long is the last thing you need. I understand. And if you DO read this and wonder how someone could be so weird/stupid/awkward to notice all this stupid stuff, screw you. Don't pretend you weren't warned:)
All right I'll just start now. Lucas invited me to his graduation party which was this Saturday at his house in Lawerenceburg. I was going there straight from rehearsal and I sat on the edge of my seat the whole way. What if I said something stupid? What if I appeared stupid? What if the other people there thought I was the dullest crayon in the box and shrugged me off as the random kid Lucas invited? I don't see why they wouldn't, after all I did just use a crayon metaphor.
While I was in the car wondering about all the possible things I could say wrong and what I should do to keep myself from saying them, my mom turned on to a long, winding gravel road off the road we were on, and eventually pulling up in front of an oddly shaped, geodesic dome of a house. After knocking twice we wandered in and two people who came out of what I later found out was where Lucas kept his sword collection (and the stolen cast portrait board of Lost In Yonkers...but you didn't hear that from me.:) directed me where exactly I was supposed to go.
I want his house. Before I left I went on to his mother about how much I loved their house. I meant it though. When you walk in, you can turn to the left where there's this side staircase that leads up to almost a balcony over the main living room and Lucas's room and an empty room they just finished with an Anne Frank room built into the closet. No, seriously, if you move this outline that covers the radiator and there's a trapdoor in the ceiling that leads to a room behind one of the vents. It was pretty sweet if I do say so myself. I'm going to his house if the Nazis decided to invade.
Anyway, I walked into their main living room that was white and clean with a bunch of cards and other odds and ends on the table and a harp in the corner. And a CD collection like no other ranging from Irish and classical composers to Bob Dylan.
Lucas noticed me automatically. Or someone told him I was there. Either way, he came over and gave me a hug, welcoming me into his house, before he came over and introduced me to his upperclassmen friends. That made me blush.
"This is Alexx Rouse my self proclaimed protegee and a rising star in the drama department, one of the students SCPA leaves it's drama legacy to. Which I'm sure you all already know from her leading role in Zap which I'm sure you all saw."
I smiled at that because for one thing, I'm proud of the part and for another, I'm sure that not a lot of kids in that room probably felt like wasting a Saturday to come watch a bunch of seventh graders through freshmen pretend we were them. Especially with the looks on their faces. I think they'd heard one of Lucas's speeches before and didn't find them as fun to listen to as I usually did. He breaks into the most interesting ones at the most random points in time, particularly the one before Christmas when he explained to me the difference between a burn and a roast using the Great Awakening as a metaphor. Hehehe, that was funny.
But beside the point, we sat down and I struck up a conversation with his friend Anna who was going to be a sophomore in college in Maryland this year. Luckily I spent my thirteenth birthday in Baltimore so we chatted politely about how awesome Hamdon is and I recommended the Hon Cafe and asked her about DC. By the time Lucas came back, I took notice of something.
I was late to the party (of course) and there were no freshmen there. Hell, there weren't even any kids really. Someone had brought their baby and then the next youngest kid seemed to be me. I asked him about it. "Yes I would've invited Daniel or Mitch or a few more of my little friends. But they don't have quite the same relationship as we do. Not quite." That made me smile inside. Well not smile so much as grin inside like my loopy retriever does when we feed him. And if that wasn't enough, he said I looked charming. Yep, not cute, not good. Charming. I love the guy. Even when we were talking and he gave me a terrifying description of my sophomore Drama teacher. Apparently he has deep hatred for the incompetent and tortures them for his own sick amusement. Ah, the outlook I now have on sophmore year.
Everybody talked and I spent a while attempting to seem interesting to people older than me, which of course wasn't worth it since everyone there was so incredible. That's when we were called for dinner and everyone at the party gathered into their oddly shaped kitchen for food. Though we weren't allowing ourselves to eat until Lucas gave a speech. It didn't take much to persuade him and before we knew it he was standing at the main point in the kitchen ready to talk. I don't know if it's perfectly quoted, but this is as much as I can remember him saying right after he started to say something about this speech being the short version.
"There are so many people here from my Waldorf classmates who've known me since I was four and others like my friend Tessa who I have just met this year, but has become very dear to me. And there's Alexx who has just finished her first year at SCPA and currently is taking it by storm. I cannot take credit for any of her success, yet I would if I could." I wonder how red I turned when he said that. Mainly because I knew about all the other more talented, worthy, cultured people in the world, not even world, the room we were in and he was deciding to say something about ME.
Then he went on to say something about Diamond, his best friend which was funny because it made someone from the back go "Are you sure this is the short version?"
"Yes because if it weren't there'd be a lot more on him," he retorted. "But honestly thank you all for coming. I am almost certain that at some point I've drawn inspiration from every single one of you." Geez Lucas. This was another one of those 'Why are you friends with me?' moments I seem to be having a lot of in our relationship. My graduation speech, if I ever give one will most likely be along the lines of 'You guys all rock. Thanks for coming. Let's eat.' That's when he smiled. Keep in mind there are a ton of old hippies in this room. "And I hope that in the next couple years you will all turn out to vote for the new Republican governor of Ohio." Everyone laughed and a few people jokingly booed. I smiled and laughed, but one thought did occur to me.
I wore Obama pins in my school picture and an artsy The New Hope poster of the president is currently dominating my bedroom door. And Lucas had my vote.
Since I'd eaten McDonald's beforehand, I wasn't in too big of a hurry to stuff my face again, even though everything smelled amazing. So without realizing it, I found myself in a conversation with Diamond who was hanging around the same side of the kitchen I was.
He's a great person to have a conversation with. And I really like Diamond in general. He asked about how I felt about my first year, how long it took me to establish my group of friends, and how long it took him to. I told him about New York, answered his questions about my friends, and apparently informed him of my Math teacher's existence. That's when he said the one simple thing that made my adrenaline rush.
"Oh I saw your blog." Oh. Really now? Okay, that's cool. It's not like I have anything incriminating on here right?
"You're one of the few people in the world," I joked.
"Yes, we read your one on Class Day." Except for THAT! My heart shot past my throat to the point where it was in my skull.
For those of you who weren't currently following me or were just too lazy to get a chance to read the Class Day post, that's the one were I proclaimed to the Internet community just how incredible, intelligent, and sweet I think Lucas really is. It was completely true, cheesy maybe, but from the heart. And nowhere near as artfully worded as some of things Lucas has sent me through text.
I kid you not.
"How...how'd you find it?" I said playing cool and ignoring the fact that my mind was shooting around my brain for any memory of the Class Day post I could possibly have. I remembered calling him the coolest person in the universe. And that I wrote about writing down the compliment he gave me after doing a crazy, stupid happy High School Musical jump in the air between the band hallways.
Oh God. The person I look up to most in the world would only read the one post where I reference High School Musical.
"I googled Lucas's name," Diamond explained.
"Oh I've done that." Please don't think I'm a creeper, please don't think I'm a creeper, please don't think I'm a creeper...
"It's fun. You know if you just have a few spare minutes." Don't think I'm creepy, don't think I'm creepy, don't think I'm creepy... "And I tell you it must've been fate because yours came out about the fourth one down." I googled Lucas once. My blog never came up. "And yes, I read it out loud to Lucas and then he read it." Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. My mind was racing and cursing myself for being so stupid as to broadcast my feelings on the Internet. Oh God, he thinks I'm weird. Lucas had to think I was a weird and Diamond too of course. Wow, how could I be so stupid as to put that on the Internet? Did I just assume both of these people had possessed no Wifi connection? They have Facebooks for God's sake! Oh wow. I was the random kid Lucas invited...but then Diamond spoke.
"It was very sweet. Very sweet." My emotions took a 180 degree turn in an incredibly fast way I'm convinced only teenage girls can pull off so artfully. Oh my God. He thought it was sweet! Aww! I wrote something Diamond and apparently Lucas thought was sweet! Wait, but what did I say now?
"Yeah, I've always wanted to tell him how important he is to me, but obviously," I said motioning to the spot where Lucas had just given his speech. "I can't speak nearly as well as he can." That's when Diamond made my day. Or at least contributed to the many factors that made my day.
"Oh he raves about you."
I melted into my body and smiled sincerely and big. Lucas. Raved. About me.
Jealous yet?:) Yes you are. You just may not realize how much you should be. ;D
After that the rest of the afternoon went so well. I met one of Lucas's Celtic music friends named Robert and we had about a forty-five minute conversation covering everything from didgeridoos (which he makes) to card tricks and French Canadian bands to how he deduced someone's slide of hand. Afterwards we all went into Lucas's room.
That was my favorite part. Lucas's room shouldn't belong to a kid that just graduated high school, especially a boy. First off, it was painted calming green, with a clear Gothic window over his perfectly made bed and a triangular and circular window in his ceiling. But that wasn't the best part. His CDs and books pissed me off. Everything on the CD racks and bookshelves didn't belong in the room of a human teenage boy. They belonged in the study of a high class lawyer. The artists on the CD rack were either classical or Irish composers, the most normal one being the CD of one of SCPA's choir concerts. Even his bathroom made me angry. I stumbled into it looking for a trash can.
He should not have this bathroom. Because he is a boy and does not NEED this bathroom!
It looks like it's out of a Victorian mansion. It's tiled all prettily and has a completely separate shower and bath area that looks like it came out of a classy twenties movie...wow, I just described his bathroom. I'm definitely not weird.
Anyway, getting off the stalkerish fact that I remember his bathroom, I decided to snoop through his bookcase to attempt to find something to start a conversation about. Maybe I read something he had. Or knew something about one of the writers.
Nothing. There was nothing I could comment on. Everything on his bookshelves were so above me. Philosophy books and scripts and thick books on historical things. The closest I came was to one thing. Candide by Voltaire. I knew something about Voltaire. I pointed to it and said without thinking "I'm researching Voltaire for my summer project!"
Lie. But I guess I was now. After all I did need to chose a writer...
"Yes, he's not typically held up as a brilliant philosopher," Lucas said taking the book off the shelf. Or maybe I took it off the shelf... "He was the one who while everyone else was saying 'Well let's rebel against monarchy, and set up republics, and join organized religion!' he stood back and said, 'The best you can hope for is a good monarch. Because republics never work. Except for the American one of course' Which in recent years has proved to have been screwed." Wow. The extent of my knowledge on Voltaire was that he was against the Church because he was excommunicated for desecrating a shrine. When in reality, he broke a baptismal font because a child's head was stuck in it and the poor kid was drowning. Hm...I wonder if I could site Lucas as a source in my bibliography...
"Actually, why don't you borrow that?" he suggested. "It's one of his best works, plus it will give me an excuse to arrange something for me to see you again." I smiled big and nodded. And floated out of the room. And he meant it. Because when I said goodbye, he asked me and my mom if we wanted to go to the opera this summer.
That's right. A guy invited me to go to the frigging OPERA. Wishing he was your friend now? You are aren't you? :) I know at this point I was wondering how he was mine. That party was so much fun. Everyone there just seemed like...the people I wanna be when I grow up. I can't believe he invited me. I feel so awesome. I just have no idea why he thinks I'm cool enough to be his friend.
Well, I should probably go now. I need to google Lucas's name now and make sure this doesn't come up.

I Am The Most Awesome Person In The World

2009-06-20T18:12:00.001-07:00

Second only to the host of the party I went to today.
I went straight from rehearsal to Lucas's Graduation Party.
And I am feeling SO FRIGGING HAPPY!:D
So much to tell, and so much mental wander. Should I blog? Or should I keep it especially to myself? Should I be this happy even though a bunch of the seniors didn't seem to care much about me when I was in their conversation? DID they care much about me? Is there a reason that I'm so indescribably fulfilled at the moment? Am I weird for this? Probably, I am quite the freak if I do say so myself...
Oh my God, ecstasy. I was the only freshmen there. ME. He could've invited so many more cultured, worthy people, and he invited ME. XD

Do Not Read If You're Already Mad, Or If You're Happy And Want To Stay That Way

2009-06-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

I hate guys right now. I hate guys a lot.
Tell more specifically one guy who just told me he wanted me...one guy who is not only repulsive in every sense of the word, but also HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
Honesty Box is an evil, evil thing.
Okay let me explain.
A few days ago I changed my Honesty Box question to "What's something you've always wanted to say to me?" and I got a reply the next day that said "Kiss Me" Now guys screw around all the time, so I figured it could just be my stupid guy friends trying to screw with me. But then again I figured I should make sure. So I wrote "I might if you tell me who you are" The next thing I got back was completely sweet.
"You won't. I know you won't. And plus, I'm too afraid. I've always wanted to hold you close to me and tell you how I feel. But I'm too much of a pussy to do it."
Meaning, not kidding. Whoever was on the other side was completely serious. So I started talking to them. While trying not to send them the one message I was thinking. "Hi Rillon."
You see, my friend Rillon has liked me since the beginning of freshmen year, and both friends I told about the comments immediately thought of him. Which would have been no big deal. I love Rillion, I really do, but it wouldn't work. I could just take the comments as something sweet and tell him thank you, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So I opened a chat window with him and casually brought it up.
I didn't believe him when he denied it at first. I thought he was just trying to hold on to any illusion there was that involved me not knowing how he felt about me. But then my friend Adrienne opened a chat window with me "RILLON SAID HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU!" It seemed like she screamed through Facebook. That killed doubt in my mind that it was him. The next day, armed with this knowledge, I opened a casual, friendly conversation with him, right after I wrote in his honesty box "You should tell her." Luckily, that gave me the effect I needed and he told me he was going to kill Adrienne.
"Why did she make you admit to something?" I asked because I had so obviously no idea what Adrienne did :P
"Uhhh..." So give or take thirty-five minutes of prying later, he said it when I asked what Adrienne got out of him. "all the odd/awkward/embarrassing reasons why i like you. I would elaborate, but I tend to get kind of creepy" Awww, Rillon.
"I'm sure it wouldn't be, but okay If you don't feel like it..."
"i just don't wanna turn this into a twilight scene." That one made me smile. I love the guy.
"Hahahahaha. Okay, understood there X) Would it sound like a twilight scene?"
"not as cheesy"
"That's a relief X) But all right. If you don't feel like telling me. Just one question." One stupid question was all I needed the answer to.
"yes?"
"Are you SURE you weren't the one that left those really sweet things in my honesty box?" He had to tell me the truth now. After all if he wrote in my box, it would be kind of a stupid move to open up about having odd/awkward/embarrassing reasons for liking me and then deny writing something to me that I told him was sweet.
"i wish i were" Awwww! I love you Rillon! "but no, i wasn't"
This sounds horrible, but right after we finished talking and that sentence fully hit me I got all bubbly with excitement. Who could it be? Wow, someone liked me and finally got the courage to tell me! I clicked on Honesty Box and ran down the list of all the people with them that I thought may word sentences like the person who had written to me did. I skipped over a few guys I didn't know and then found two very possible suspects...one of them being Craig who you have to adore the second you meet him.
Awwwwww! I thought. I think Craig likes me! That's so adorable! And so awesome! Oh my God I hope it's him!!! After all, the only other person online who was a credible suspect seemed to be Kali and Kali was between two girls and a hell of a lot of drama at the moment anyway. No way it was him. It had to be Craig. Or maybe it wouldn't be and it would randomly be someone I didn't know. Gosh I hoped not.
Then it popped up. Honesty Box Boy had struck again. I clicked on it as fast as I could hoping whoever he was would finally admit his identity.
It was Chris. My stupid, mental, unstable friend Chris.
There were multiple reasons that I was pissed off it was Chris. One was the fact that even though Chris is my friend I don't want to be alone with him ever if I can help it. Another was that he's one of the most sexual people I've ever met and is extremely perverted and full of himself. And another driving force to my anger was that he has a girlfriend and I'm disgusted by people who have girlfriends and continue to hit on other girls. Not to mention knowing Chris, all those sweet things he said were more likely than not something he came up with to see if he could get me to make out with him. Chris can do that. He knows how to get certain girls around his fingers. And I can't believe I fell for his stupidity...
Or maybe I don't understand why I'm so mad. Is it possible that in the midst of rebelling against my nameless friend's view that you need a boy to be worth something...ANY boy, that I tried to stifle the fact that I truly would like to have someone who liked me that way? Is it even plausible that when I read those things in Honesty Box I thought the person writing them actually valued me as a person? And maybe when I felt that way I thought I'd finally found someone I could return the feelings for?
No. No it can't be. And I'm signing off now before I admit to something I don't feel like admitting to...

Okay. I Am Getting Down To Business...NOW

2009-06-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

I CANNOT keep screwing around all summer. This hit me when I woke up at twelve thirty thsi afternoon after I'd slept in till eleven thirty and scrambled to get ready for my friends to come pick me up yesterday. (It was awesome by the way. We saw Dance Flick and took a bunch of pictures in Bass Pro Shoppe...NO! STAY ON TASK!) I haven't honestly done anything truly productive all summer other than be in Oklahoma, and even that I haven't been trying to hard at. (But my director likes me apparently. He said something really nice about my voice when I screwed up my solo. He was like "No Minnie Mouse stuff! You have one of the best voices! I've seen your audition I know what you can do!" Which is odd considering my audition was thrown together the day before and my solo sounded like a mouse in a trap-UGGGG! NO! STOP GETTING SIDETRACKED!)
Anyway, the point is, I made a to do list last night and started thinking about all the things I have to do by the time three months are up. I mean, I go to New York to further expand my musical theater career, in FOUR WEEKS. In that time, I have to finish taking health online, scrub my room spotless so I have a place to come back to, and at least make a dent in the two books I have to consume for my summer reading project...which also includes writing a full length report on a writer from the approved list which I haven't even CHOSEN yet. (Though, I am attempting to keep my anger in when I found out Emerson wasn't on the list. Stupid evil public school system...that I, uh, chose to be a part of) Oh, and did I mention that Oklahoma shows in two weeks, I have an entire Bucket List that needs to be worked on, and by the way I have this insane mission of toning up and adopting some new beauty habits so I'm especially hot for sophomore year. Plus, there's a little brother rebounding off my desk chair right now begging me to play with him. And I need to find time to ask the blogging community my question...
Sigh.
I've got a lot of work to do.

I Love Hanging Out With 5th Graders!!!...that didn't sound creepy at all...

2009-06-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

I really do! Today was one of the last days of school for my little brother and my mom dragged me to this picnic that had at a park near his school. I didn't realize how much I needed to go outside XD My mom woke me up this morning making it clear that I had to get moving to go to Evan's picnic. So I did. I moved all the way downstairs to
the couch. And fell back asleep. You know what it's like to get ready in fifteen minutes when you aren't fully conscious? Not fun. Not really fun at all. Especially when your head feels like a ball of grease...yeah I should probably still take care of that...
On the bright side though I ran into a bunch of kids that apparently knew me from when I went to Sacred Heart (where my brother goes now.) My friend Liz's little sister along with my friend Christina's little sister attacked me when I got there. Sarah and Megan. I didn't even know Sarah Rader remembered who I was, but apparently I was wrong. We even ran into one of my old directors. I got to talk to her for the first time in almost exactly a year about her new projects and how you learn the most random special skills during shows.
But what was even better is what came after I got home. I scrubbed myself down in the shower and right when I was feeling clean I decided to call Rachel (best friend Rachel. Not Katie's Rachel or the Rachel at my school...just to clarify XD ) "Hey are you at your mom's?"
"Yeah."
"Can I walk over?"
"Sure."
...
"Is, uh, now okay."
"Yup!"
Five minutes later she called me back and told me to bring a bathing suit. I felt my wet hair. "Okay."
We swam around in her pool for about forty-five minutes talking about guys, and people we knew, and how we should name clothing lines after different diseases. Oh, and the fact that my friend Colin was the one that told her I was trying out for Broadway (because Colin just randomly brags about me...? Yeah, can't necessarily explain that one) After a while though, we were craving some ice cream from The Dip, this ice cream place within walking distance of our houses. But we were FREEZING. So after the fifteen to twenty minutes it took for us to drag our sorry asses OUT of her pool, we ran inside and immediately put on sweats...in 78 degree weather in June. xD Cuz we are cool like that. Only problem was that I was freezing and all I had was a thin towel, shorts, and a T-shirt. So Rachel, having the heart of gold she does (the heart of gold that probably just made her pee herself in laughter when I said she had a heart of gold) lent me some sweat pants and a huge Badin hoodie. Yet it took me until I locked myself in the bathroom to change to realize one thing. I'm five one. And I have fairly nice hips I guess you would say...
Rachel's five seven and has MUCH better hips than I do. And I wore her pants and hoodie in public.
Actually, even better is the fact that Rachel's family is pretty well off so her mom had this classy arrangement of perfumes for guests to use in her bathroom. So I was the girl with grungy hair in oversized sweats...that smelled like Chanel perfume XD
After ice cream we went back to Rachel's house, watched some MTV and then laid on her trampoline and had an interesting conversation. It was half deep and half about all the things we were going to have in our dream house like a zoo room, a runway room, a garage for only our clothes, and a room with a pimped out climber that was going to be in our words like "a McDonald's playground, combined with a Chuck E Cheese play set, times five". The conversation got so intense that we decided that we simply had to call my mother and ask her if Rachel could come over so we could plot this dream house of ours...we didn't do anything all night except pretend to watch Disney movies, talk about deep things that people did to me in my past (don't worry nothing COMPLETELY criminal.), and made Rachel a life list on 43things.com (a site I HIGHLY recommend to everyone :) along with added stuff to my own. And it was awesome. We woke up this morning and talked about Rachel's relationship with my dad...which is HILARIOUS to watch because my best friend and my father are essentially the same people just one is younger and of a different gender, while we ate waffles and drank homemade lattes by my mom. Then after the intensive lack of sleep, we dropped Rachel off before my mom carted me to rehearsal.
And now as I sit here typing this, the fact that I did all this and woke up at two is starting to catch up with me. I'll talk to you guys later. XD Thanks for listening as always!

The Wondifical Astoundiful Place That Is Brentwood Swim Club

2009-06-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

Whoa, I can't believe how insane it's been. This always happens to me. I don't think I'll have anything to do over the summer and then an entire realm of people calling me and things to do opens up. I complain not though :)
Friday was the beginning of it all. I spent the day at my grandparents, ran home, and then saw Night at the Smithsonian with my family (HIGHLY recommended by the way. DEFINITELY does the first movie justice.) Saturday and Sunday were the big days though. Saturday I woke up early and was shuttled off to Girl Scout Program Aide training. Fun, fun fun :P Honestly, Girl Scouts was something that... Well honestly, it's kind of like how you view your family when your five. You think they're fantastic and incredible and flawless...then you turn thirteen and you happen to realize Uncle Carl's a drama queen, Cousin Freddy's a delinquent, and Aunt Mindy has a drinking problem. Get it now? Good. :)
And after that fun barrel of monkeys, I was carted off to Oklahoma rehearsal that wasn't NEARLY as painful as I thought it would be, luckily. And then when I finally got home, I got a call from Rachel. "Hey, we should do something tonight," she'd said on the other line. I agreed heavily. And next thing I knew we were in the basement eating popcorn, watching Hercules, and cat fighting over of all things, a quilt. Ah Rachella. I love thee :)
Sunday, by far though, was the greatest. Because I woke up to the phone. Yeah, I know, typically that really sucks. But it was the complete opposite...I just didn't realize it until my dad made me get out of bed.
"You need to answer the phone," I detected him saying through my groggyness. "Now." I snatched it from his hand and rubbed my eye.
"Heeellooooooo?" I droaned.
"Good morning sunshine."
KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Okay, for those of you who do not have the incredible luck to be blessed with the knowledge of Katie Leigh Rouse, she is one of the coolest people on the planet. She's my twenty-two year old cousin and she's the person that everyone needs in their life that will always be there for you. And I woke up to her calling to ask if I could hang out with her :)
"Yeah I woke up this morning, drove over to my mom's and she was like 'Oh Alexx wrote you a letter.' So I sat down and I read it and I called her to ask her if she wanted to go to the pool." she told people at the pool later. "It was like 'Awww. I need to see Alexx today'. "
The pool was fun. It was the first time I'd been there in close to a year, and I usually only get to go there once. Finneytown, where all my dad's relatives live, has this rinky dink little podunk pool called the Brentwood Swim Club. And during the summer that's where my aunt and her friends and all the other ladies sit around in their bathing suits and gossip and smoke cigarettes and talk about how difficult life is. It's a pretty classy place, I must admit. Last year my aunts friend asked me to hold her cigarette while she got into the pool. I know. It's simply heartwarming that people now and days are realizing the importance of getting someone to hold onto your nictotine so you can pull yourself onto your raft. :)
All Katie did was brag on me the whole time too, making me tell people about New York and telling them herself how I wrote, sung, and acted and wrote plays and was "the coolest kid she'd ever met in her life." I love how I'd never told Katie about any form of play I was attempting to write, and yet she came up with writing plays. Katie and her mom (my aunt Jennifer) are growing more alike the more I see them. They don't even need real factual things to brag on me with. They just need an idea, and if they run out of things for the sake of their rhythm of speech they can make something up. In both instances I just sort of sat back and blush. I'm really not that great. My friend Christina went to Ireland with Cincinnati Children's Choir before 8th grade. And my friend Marty considered writing six plays just an annoying workload.
And while she wasn't bragging on my Katie was going on about how worried she was that my aunt would be mad at her. My other cousin you see, Jessie, was moving into her new apartment across the street that day. And since I was at the pool and doing nothing and saw them carrying all the stuff in, I felt bad and ran across the street to go help them move stuff. I guess that made Katie have some sympathy so she took the keys and ran over to my aunt Diane's to attempt to take Gracie (the baby of the family) off her hands so she wouldn't have to watch her while everyone was helping Jessie. And after being the little kid of the move and running back and forth making everyone laugh because of how hard I was working, it was a little weird to see Katie pull up in a huff. "You're mom is mad at me!" she said to Jessie. She went on to explain how she went to go take the baby off her hands and my aunt wouldn't look at her and was angry about her not being there to help Jessie and how she held grudges and would be mad at her for a month, etc., etc. I couldn't tell how much of it was Katie's dramatic world and how much was Punkin's actual anger. But it all seemed to clear up when Rachel came :)
Now with the vast majority of Rachel's I know, one being the bubbly girl that saved me from passing out and another being my bestest friend. But this is an entirely new Rachel, who's Katie's best friend. And she's the sweetest, nicest, most loving person person you would ever meet. She has that infectious joy where no matter what happened to you that day, if you lost your job because a rabid chipmunk bit you on the way to work, if Rachel shows up at your house afterwards, you can't help, but smile around her. And it turns out that I'll get to hang out with her and Katie all summer! Katie has Sunday through Wendsday off all summer and she told me she would pick me up and take me to the pool on Sundays. And both of them started planning insanely when I told them something.
"Yeah you guys have to meet this band!" Katie was raving to us, trying to get our minds off the thought that Rachel told us she might move to Texas. (More details on that later.) "They were SO awesome. On guy rapped and there was a guy on gutair and two other guys that sang. And it was...Oh my God, it was like no thing I've ever heard. It was kind of like Kid Rock mixed with...Kid Rock. You guys have to meet them." Of course though, they were performing somewhere a fourteen-year-old couldn't get into. :P "Well Alexx, you can come to their house and hear them play or something, I'll make sure you meet them."
"I know, I just really wanted to see them perform. I've never been to a concert." Of course Katie and Rachel couldn't have that. Meaning the second I said that the next thing I heard was, 'Oh, we'll get you to a concert.'
"Oh, you guys are NEVER going to believe this one!" Katie told us once we got around to planning our concert attacking. "Kid Rock and Lynard Skynard are coming to Cincinnati and guess how much the tickets are." I tried to figure out the radical amount of money tickets to that awesome concert would cost. 100? "A hundered dollars for four." An enormous smile broke over my face. I could afford that...for once.
"That's one reason you can't move to Texas," I told Rachel later. "You have to go see Lynard Skynard with us."
I think it has potential to be a good summer. Yeah...it's gonna be a good summer :)

Still Waiting for the Feeling

2009-05-28T16:44:00.001-07:00

Wow. It's over. After the 180 days of living for monolouges, assignments, and friendship; it's over. My freshman year at what I viewed as the big and scary art school...it's done.

But the strange thing is I can't feel it. When you're a kid you know. The end of school is the miniature equivalent to Christmas. The ultamite yearly kick in the face of freedom. But this year there's nothing. I can't feel a thing. There isn't freedom, or happiness, or even sadness at the people I'm leaving. I guess that's because it hasn't fully hit me that I am not in school. The city, the friends, the opportunities, are GONE for three months. And I my brain just can't metabolize that thought or wrap my head around that idea. It's so...odd really. Every year, even in 8th grade when I was popular (I like to think X) ) and had all those beautiful, kind, funny Catholic school people as friends, I still had that little bit of buzz when school got out. That "Yay, I'm FREE!" feeling. It hasn't come. And I doubt it will. Because I loved the experiences of my freshmen year too much.

It was a nice way to leave though. None of my periods were used in the way they were supposed to be. Biology was an enormous picture taking fest, Spanish was fory-five minutes discussing tattos with Sam, Drama was audition reflections...and math was an incredible random Juno moment with my crazy metalhead friend Chris. I act a lot like Juno and people say I look like her too (minus the whole teenage preganancy part) and in the middle of math Chris called me over and took his gutair and both of us sang "Anyone Else But You" right in the middle of our math class! I sang the girl part and he sang the guy part. We are so awesomely cool :)

Next came the almost food fight in the middle of 5th bell lunch, which was one of the most pathetic things I'd ever had to witness. So pathetic that I shall not dignify it's failure with comment. Sixth bell all I did was talk to Cassie and Kali (Because Daniel was a FAIL and went to 6th bell lunch) But seventh bell was the greatest.

Now to understand the incredible utter greatness that IS this act by David Goist, you must realize the deep and incredible hate in which most of the 7th bell Modern History class has for our teacher Ms. Anderadis. Meaning all year long, they have stabbed at her whenever given the chance...like with David Goist and his stripper skills. You see, Mr. Goist whenever he couldn't think of an answer to a question, no matter what group he was in or what the topic was, he would volunteer to become a male stripper to raise money for whatever role playing cause we were working towards. And with some persuasion from Faith Deihl, out of nowhere in the middle of our History class, DAVID DID A STRIPTEASE! Okay, he's this really thin, lanky orchestra kid. And he shook his hips like a girl and took off his belt and made it snap and shook his butt. He gave me and Emily's desk a near lap dance until we gave him a dollar. It was one of, no THEE funniest thing I have ever witnessed n my history class. Deidra recorded it and told us she'd put it on Facebook, and if she does I will share it's glory with you.

English wasn't very eventful though, all we did was screw around and play cards (Christina got violent on Egyptian rat screw) and the funny thing is, I think I became friends with Bram in my last class on the last day. Bram Sheckles is this kind and funny Drama major who's quite talented and for the entire year has looked like he'd be a great and entertaining person to hang out with. Only problem is I haven't had a chance to talk to him all year. Yet in the last fifteen to twenty minutes of my final freshmen English class, we fought over Go Fish in baby voices. I know. Weirdness on an astronomical level. But I promise if you'd been there you would've thought it was funny.

The end of the day was the most fun though. Rannie and I planned on getting a bunch of people together to go to Coffee Emporium one last time. But we didn't leave until a good fifteen to twenty minutes later than we wanted to because everyone was hugging like crazy outside. Finally when we decided to leave, I gave Adam a huge hug. "Do you have a Facebook?" I asked. t

"I don't have Internet," he informed me.

"Oh." There was a moment of silence before I asked. "You're not gonna forget me right?"

"I won't forget you. For the whole...two months I've known you." I pulled away and smiled.

"Backstage at Zap," I said. "You're a loser, but I love you." He smiled at that. I'll miss him.

We walked to Coffee Emporium after that. All of us. We all got food and talked and smiled together one last time before we all moved up a grade level. We took a bunch of pictures (which you can see on my facebook which I plan to upload soon)

"Anybody wanna come to Bogart's tonight???" Craig pleaded with the lot of us. "The Dead Fish are playing. It's some cover band."

"I can ask my mom," I offered.

"Good, cuz I'm not going if you're not." Of course I couldn't. But I hugged Craig and everyone else until I thought I'd break them. Gaby was about to cry.

"No Gaby!" I told her. "You're not allowed to cry, cuz then I'll cry!"

There's nothing much I can say after that other than my mother came by and picked me up and that was that. Freshmen year was over. What so many people regard as the hardest scariest years of their life...was over. Completely over.

And now I sit here typing to you waiting for the realization of that to fully and truly hit me. Waiting for the feeling to smack me in the face like I know it should...Just waiting. And wondering if it's wrong to hope it never comes.

Before I leave...

2009-05-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yes lovelies, I regret to inform you that I shall be spending my entire weekend at the cabin. Unfortunately. Yes, it is a great get away to nature and it IS my equivalent to Walden...

But the fact we're trying to go every weekend...and the fact I have A LIFE is sort of getting in the way.

But I won't focus on that right now. I'll just tell you about my nice and interesting half of a day I've had so far, then leave myself an angry reminder that I HAVE to post something about graduation day, and then I shall leave you.

All right, my nice and interesting half day. Well, to start off, Kali's birthday was yesterday. Now as you know the typical tradition on your friend's birthday is to give them the most HORRIFIC EMBARRASSING LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY GIFT YOU CAN GET THEM... or maybe you didn't know that. XD Anyways, that is our typical tradition. Which is why when I caught Gaby on the way into the band hallway and was very quickly informed of the hysterically girl present she got for Kali's sixteenth. In her hand she held a flowery pink bag, which apparently contained another pink Victoria's Secret bag, with a very dainty, delightfully feminine Disney princess brush and Cinderella hair clips and scrunchies. I could wait to see Kali's face...which was made even more hilarious when Malikyya showed up...with a dark green thong. Needless to say, when we gave Kali his gift, I couldn't breathe XD I am proud to call those people my friends.

I even had a dash of inspiration today. That I myself caused. Okay, to clarify, I have an uber long, indescribably enormous, halfway impossible to complete Bucket List in a red notebook that I carry around everywhere. I usually don't want anyone to touch it considering the quantity, and randomness of some of the goals in there (I have Learn to Seduce two spaces above Learn to Cook. Anyone who can explain to my why that is, don't) But last week I went outside 6th bell lunch and was chatting with Rillon and Jack. Rillon was trying to steal my notebook with my songs in it as usual, but when he got into my bag, he found the beaten up Life List instead. And oddly enough, he's been addicted to reading it. And today right after he rummaged through my bag to steal and continue reading it, he called me over. "Open that binder to the first page," he said pointing to a black one across the hall from us. It was filled with not book paper. And the heading on the first page said What I Want To Do Before I Die :)

I inspired him to start making a bucket list! And he had down everything from record original songs to cause an actual panic at a disco...

And number four was Be locked in a locker with a pretty girl. And that was checked off XD Ahhhh, that was fun X)

The Great Pants Attack

2009-05-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

All righty then, I am currently working on a blog about Graduation Day on Tuesday, but for unfortunate reasons involving the fact it won't be a quick and easy blog, and I go to rehearsal in 58 minutes, I need something short and sweet to write about. Meaning you will get the story of the pants attack, instead of the story of Kali in Victoria's Secret.
I'm sorry. I promise that one's coming. :)
Now a few weeks ago, I was waiting outside with Rannie when I noticed the colorful, Sharpie ridden shirt she was wearing. It was apparently from last year, and Rannie had made anyone and everyone she knew at school sign it on the last day, right before summer. Awesome idea, I thought. I should do that! So starting last week on Class Day, armed with my small white SCPA shirt and a rainbowlike barrage of the colorful brand name pens, I forced all of my friends to sign nearly every square inch of this tiny article of clothing.
It is fuggin amazing.
TONS of people in TONS of different colors wrote myriads of different things. My friend Jack who plays mandolin wrote his name in huge purple letters diagonally down the back. A kickass druggie girl named Faith wrote "ALEXX EFFING ROCKS!" in blue by my chest. An exchange student named Hannah (obviously) wrote "Hannah is so cool GO GERMANY". Even Daniel got into the spirit of my shirt and drew an enormous thumbs up sign on the back. (Dirty inside joke involving the day we met. Believe me, if you don't know, I'm sure you're perfectly happy if you're ignorant of its origins X) )
The only problem was, after all these awesome people signed my shirt, it was getting rather cramped. It's a very small shirt, so I just figured that though it was unfortunate, not all of my friends would get to sign it. I came to this realization outside waiting for my ride yesterday when Skylar, Craig, and Adam were attempting to find a place to sign.
Okay, I had ONE LITTLE star drawn on my jeans, because I got bored in History one day. In fact, I'd forgotten it was there. That's when Craig goes, "Oh you're letting people sign your jeans? ME FIRST!"
"Yeah!" Rannie agreed.
"Wait!" I said, still not fully registering that people are trying to sign other clothing items. "Okay, how're we gonna do this?"
"Lay down!"
Next thing I know, I'm sprawled across the lap of Craig, Skylar, and Rannie, and people are descending on me like flies on an unattended ice cream cone, eager to sign my pants. Poor Adam just stood there in awe as all the surrounding civilians started attacking me. I don't even know where these people came from! Craig wrote "All of this is mine" down my thigh and Rannie wrote "MINE! - Rannie" On one of my pockets. What was even funnier, was a girl who I SWEAR I have never seen in my life rushed over to the hubbub and goes "Wait who are we signing? Oh Alexx? I wanna sign Alexx!"
WHO ARE YOU???
It was perfectly fine though and boy was it a sight when my aunt pulled up. My feminine, fairly conservative, Alexx is a good little girl aunt pulled up next to me laughing hysterically sprawled across the laps of two of my guy friends...and Rannie of course :) I couldn't help myself. I lifted my arm through the crowd and let out a whooping "HI JENNIFER! Gimme a minute will you?"
Ahhh, that was fun to explain on the way home X)

Class Day, FulFillment, and Gangster hats :) (It's long, but please read!)

2009-05-17T15:36:00.000-07:00

I had an incredibly fantastic utterly incredible and all around fulfilling day. And as badly as I want to sleep, I have to tell you about it. This is probably going to be long, but if you are a good and trusty follower, you will read and comment! :)

Every year SCPA does something called Class Day. Class Day is when the seniors all meet in the black box on the first floor, walk around the first floor, then climb to the fifth. They then proceed to walk all around every floor of the school until they reach the second, where they file into the auditorium and all the underclassmen perform for them. You can sign up to either perform or be a door holder. I did both. Door holders do the exact jobs you'd expect them too. They hold doors for the seniors as the walk around. It's a sort of ceremonial thing. All of my friends were holding doors with me. Some of which I felt worse for than others. My friend Jazmyn for instance, knew so many seniors and was holding her tears back as hard as she could. She was holding a door next to me and she couldn't help, but sing For Good from Wicked over and over. No one with that pretty of a face and that pretty of a voice should be that sad! So I started singing it with her. The second verse going into the chorus. We even came together at the end and held hands. "That looked so rehearsed!" my friend Izzy said. I hope it made her feel better.

Door holding is a very interesting custom though. Not only did I have permission to skip class, but I got to see some of my very close friends who are seniors walk by. Like Marina, who I've eaten lunch with since the very beginning days of my start at SCPA. And Lucas...He made me feel the worst. Lucas is one of the coolest people in the entire universe. And when he walked by the second door I was holding, he stopped mid walk after I shot a huge smile at him, and said "Okay, hug me now, because this maybe the last time I see you." It hit me then. Lucas was leaving. Indiana University isn't that far away, but Lucas was leaving. We didn't get to see each other that much, but Lucas was still there if I needed him. He was the one I asked for advice when Esme died. He was the one that gave me a compliment about my Zap performance that actually involved a real adjective. A REAL ADJECTIVE! He was always there to help me if I needed it. He was the first person at SCPA that I actually knew. This was all stuff to think about, but I didn't have time. I had a performance to get to.

Once my friends gave me the heads up I shot down to Mr. Stuckey's room to change into what had become infamously known throughout my circle of friends as my skank dress, then shot as fast as I could through the halls of SCPA, bounding towards the back where I believed my choir was...tripping and falling flat on my face in the process. Yeah, I have quite an obnoxious scrape on my knee because of that. And it was in front of tons of people. I go through a lot for my art X) Anyway, I did eventually find my people and we headed backstage, just in time for us to all panic. We were the first act on. We were also the only freshmen who'd been brave enough to come together and put on this act. No One by Alicia Keys had to be sung. Well. This was crunch time. And all of us were panicking.

"Where's Rachel? Rachel has anyone seen Rachel?!"
"Do you have a phone? Someone text Rachel!"

"Has anyone seen Jamila???"

"Who's playing piano if we don't have Rachel?"

"Daniel just walked into the balcony! I just saw him!"

"Who's taking Daniel's solo?"

"Paige you can play right?"
"Rachel! Oh my God!"

"Oh my God guys, oh my God!"

"Adrienne, hug me."

It was actually kind of sweet how we were all worried for each other. We all just wanted to do well. And even though Daniel didn't make it back there until moments before we performed, we weren't judging. We were just trying to reassure ourselves that we would be as incredible as we sounded in Mr. Stuckey's room. We were just trying to reassure ourselves that we were freshmen, but we were still part of this school.

"We should pray," someone said. Mumurs of agreement flowed through our makeshift crowd. And this may just be me, but I personally thought it was beautiful how we all made a little circle and the leader of the prayer said "God, we just ask you that we go out there and be the best we can be and put on our best show for the seniors." She said a few more things before we murmured "amen" and split apart again. But the tension and nervousness had only hung in the air a few more minutes before someone suggested "Let's pray one more time." So we all got in a circle and bowed our heads, and we more or less repeated the prayer we'd just said. That's when Paige made it clear she had to say something. And it went something like this.

"God, we have worked so hard for this and so long and all the sophomores have run into so many problems and all they've done is fight. We've worked so hard and gotten so close over these past few weeks and we just wanna go out there and show them that freshmen can do this and that even though we didn't have enough people we can still do this and rock it." Paige's prayer was more like a mini backstage pep rally. It wasn't something you said Amen after. It was something that once it ended you high fived her and screamed "RAH RAH RAH! We've got spirit YES WE DO! We've got spirit HOW BOUT YOU!?" It was everything that really needed to be said. And we all nodded in pumped agreement and said "Amen" with even more feeling than the first time. Maybe it was better that Daniel burst in just after that. He's an atheist, but he doesn't seem to day anything against it when it gave other people comfort...at least not in front of their faces. I'm kind of curious to see what he would have done. Eh, either was he let me wear his hat :)
We. were. AWESOME! We really were. My solo was drowned out, but only because of the tears. We kicked ass on an intergalactic level. You have to watch the video to understand. The video which I am currently attempting to upload with no avail. But when I do, please comment and tell me what you think of our performance. We were so pumped. Afterwards, everyone went up to the balcony. I was sitting with Gaby when the sophomores class was introduced. "Oh the sophomores are coming on?"
"Yup," I told her.
"Oh... there was a beat of silence before she smiled big and said, "I HOPE THEY FAIL!" We both cracked up the second she said that, because we knew that even against our arch enemy class, Gaby is incapable of being that evil. The sophomores did well though, and in all fairness, they were more showy than ours was...But we had better vocals :)

Class Day eventually ended around sixth bell. I caught up with Rillon and I was in NO mood to go to my study hall...or history class...or English class for that matter. That's when we noticed the good sized amount of amps, plugs, and band equipment which needed to be moved back to Mr. Stuckey's room. So with the help of him and John, I became an honorary techie for the day. Or bell technically. I moved a keyboard, a drum set, and at least two amps (or one amp twice X) to Mr. Stuckey's room.

But it was what happened during the one move that didn't go to Stuckey's room. The second Rillon and I had moved the keyboard back into the piano room, I saw Lucas and Diamond walk by. I thought he'd left. "Lucas!" I yelled, shooting outside. Both him and Diamond turned around in response to me. "My mom wants a picture with us." I said. Lie. I was the one that wanted a picture with him. She just thought it was a nice idea.
Lucas agreed and Diamond asked if we needed him. "Diamond, we actually can use you to take a photograph." He'd called it a photograph. I couldn't remember the last time I'd heard it called a photograph. Diamond worked the camera for us, looking like he was holding back crying. He nodded with a strong face when the picture was taken, a face that was so obviously being plastered on because he was school president. He handed the camera back to me when Lucas turned to me and out of nowhere gave me the nicest compliment I'd ever gotten in my life. This was a compliment so kind and sincere that even though I knew full well I didn't deserve it, I shot to my notebook the second I could, grasping to his words trying to preserve everything he'd said. This was what I was left with.

"Someday that will be you. Everyone in that auditorium will be cheering for you," Lucas had said. "When you first came here I thought you would need my assistance. But now I see that you are perfectly capable of doing it on your own. You have I bright and prosperous future here." He smiled at me. "And you know I mean it."

I couldn't talk. There was no way I deserved those perfectly beautiful words. No one had ever said anything that kind to me before. Ever. I now see that what I should have done was shouted "Lucas, you are the coolest person I ever met! I wish I had every class with you! I wish I got to talk to you all the time! You don't care what anyone thinks, you're just yourself. And in just being yourself that's what makes you SO INCREDIBLY COOL!" There are so many things I should have said, or been able to say. But I was shell shocked by the kindness. All I could do was say, "Thank you Lucas. Thank you so much." I gave him a hug seconds afterwards. No one can be that nice to me and expect to leave me without a hug. Diamond smiled.
"One good best friend's all you need," he said when I let go of Lucas. Lucas laughed in return.

"Always worked for us," Lucas said to him before responding to me. "You're welcome, and I will see you over the summer." I had no clue how he was arranging that, but he was Lucas Wozniak. Woz. I was well aware only mere fools doubt him. Then the two of them walked away together, as they should have. Both of them, leaving my life. For now at least. I hoped not forever.

The high I was on during the compliment was no where near gone. On the way back down to Stuckey's room is where it hit hardest. You know that type of happiness you get at those rare beautiful moments in life when you're so uncontrollably, deliriously, stupid happy that you just want to bottle it up and keep it forever? I was that. Times two. There was still feeling in my shoulders where Lucas had hugged me. I couldn't control my smile apparatus. In the empty hallway between the black box and the band hallway, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I looked behind me, took a running start, and burst up into one of those big cheesy High School Musical jumps, hands in the air, feet bent under me, and all. Lucas Wozniak thought I had potential. I, Alexxandra Rouse, was smiled upon by Lucas Wozniak. I, Alexxandra Rouse, had received praise from Lucas Wozniak. I, Alexxandra Marie Cecilia Rouse was told that I have a bright and prosperous future ahead of me, by LUCAS WOZNIAK!!! My life was officially complete. After all, how could I ever ask for anything more??? :)

I spent the rest of the day in the band room with John and Rillon making up improvs about how apparently John and I had deep and passionate relationship and that if I were to run into the arms of Rillon, I would just get hurt again...Keep in mind, Rillon and I are dating and last time I talked to John, he thought my name was Aubrie. Yeah, if these guys ever wanted to set down the saxophone, I'm almost a thousand percent sure the drama department would happily welcome them :) Then there was Paige who let me know I "Rocked you solo! Me and Jamila were SO worried about people singing loud, and then you got to your solo and we were like 'WHOA!'" I think I'll just let her keep thinking that :)

I didn't even have to leave right away. I called my aunt and told her I was going to Coffee Emporium and went to look at apartments. (Don't worry it wasn't an actually lie. We walked past Coffee Emporium :)There was one on Central Parkway, that was beautiful. All shiny and warmly colored, and well kept. Rannie seriously called the office about getting an application. I was so proud of her. She sounded so grown up with her extensive vocabulary and calm tone of voice. It turned out there were no vacancies. We were sad, but there was another place at 700 Walnut that looked pretty from the outside...turns out it was a law building XD Worth it though. On the way back we all talked about what it would be like if we could actually do this. "We could each have double lives!" Robyn said. Then she let out an incredible, awesome, patented Robyn gasp. "We could write a book!"
"Called double life!"
"And the book could be turned into a play and the play could be made into a movie and the movie would be so successful that it could then spin off into a TV show," I said with a huge smile on my face."
"It could work!" Rannie said. "Like we meet there on the weekends. All of us can be like 'Hey can I go to Robyn's? Hey can I go to Alexx's?"
"Hey can I go to Rannie's?" I finished. "And it wouldn't be a lie because it would technically be our place!" We walked all the way back to where the bus stop awaited Rannie and Robyn and my aunt sat with a cigarette in hand, awaiting me. I smiled at the thought of my great day and how I was already living a double life. And thought about how if it were up to me, I'd never leave my art school one. :)

Oh, and on a less sentimental note, let's review. Today I performed in a choir, danced in it (kind of), practiced the few piano songs I learned in the band room while hanging out with jazz geeks, moved all the needed equipment that needed to be moved, and wrote down Lucas's compliment. Think about the SCPA majors. Vocal, Dance, Instrumental, Tech, and Creative Writing. If I draw a picture today, I have officially contributed to every major beside my own :)

I'm am one lucky ho:)

2009-05-17T12:05:00.001-07:00

I cannot believe the school I go to. Why they let me in is completely beyond me.
I know it's a little late, but Thursday night, I went to go see Corbetts for the first time. Corbetts is an annual competition at SCPA, sponsered by the Corbett Mayerson Foundation where all the juniors come together and display their art forms. Thursday was the finals where a few dancers, musical theatre students, writers, instrumentalists, writers, a techie, an artist, and a drama major each had six minutes to display their art forms.
If SCPA expects me to be this talented, I should just go back to Catholic school. Now.
You wouldn't have believed these kids were sixteen and seventeen. There was a cellist who sawed and strummed an incredibly complicated tune like she'd been doing it since she was born. A musical theater major named Zach did a Durang monologue and sang Tonight at Eight and Your Eyes like a professional. So did the other girl competing for musical theatre. Allix danced to Burgundy Shoes in ways that I didn't know the human body could bend. And a kid I see all the time in the band room played Cherokee on trombone. I didn't know sounds like that could come out of a trombone!
Writers wrote epic poems, and novels, and scenes that left you begging for more. And the techie choreographed a light show to Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney.
Okay. When Jesus descends from Rock and Roll Heaven, that is the light show he's coming down to.
So there we all sat, all my band and writer friends, mesmerized at the sites before us. When the artist came up, all of us moved so we could get a better look at the vibrant warm colors in her work. Once the girl read an excerpt from her novel, Maggie looked over at me. "I feel like a jackass" she said with a grin. We agreed, and then I called dibs with Natalie on the musical theatre major.
At the end of the show, I didn't catch any of the performers, but Rannie caught me going down the steps. Sitting by Maggie and Natalie(Who decided with me that each of us ooze awesomeness :) had gotten me hyped to a dangerous level. "I GO TO SCHOOL HERE!" I declared as Rannie descended down the staircase laughing at the high I was on. But, it was the way home made me realize just how fantastic my life is. I never dreamed I'd be doing anything like this. And here I am in the best art school in the country with a bunch of artistic friends, in an artistic setting, drinking in every aspect of art and culture. I don't know why this school ever let me in. These kids were talented beyond words. I hope I can learn to be as good as them, but for now, after watching a performance that fantastic, I'm perfectly content standing in their shadow :)

Hahahaha, boyfriend XD

2009-05-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

You know what tastes quite incredible? Stolen kettle corn. Especially when eaten with one of your friends in a crammed private lesson room on the third floor of a 101 yearold building. And you know what is incredibly fun? Riding on your friends back as he jumps down innumerable flights of stairs and whizzs past Adam Green.
You should try it sometime :) And I think Rillon and Craig deserve an Epicness Award for their fatabulous stunts today. Rillon is the one who was in charge of the kettle corn. We were hanging out 6th bell like we usually are and as we were walking down the band hallway, we noticed a bunch of people with these bags of kettle corn like the size of a baby...I have no clue why I just used that description, but it really was about that big. XD Anyhow, we walked by this one girl at her locker with a huge bag of it on the ground next to her. She was telling us how our friend Gabby apparently had a ton of it and had just finished giving it to people and then she yelled at Rillon (as most people often do) before she went back to the business of what was inside her locker. And right as she turned around Rillon and I started to walk away. And that is when Rillon, in one smooth, crisp, beautiful movement, slyly picked up the popcorn and started walking faster. She did not move. We walked casually through the closest door and then shot up to the third floor private lesson rooms and ate it and attempted to play piano for twenty minutes. :)
Craig's Epicness Award, obviously, is deserved for the fact he is one of the most random hyper people I know. He caught me in the hall and asked me to walk outside with him. We were about to turn onto the stairs when out of nowhere he goes "Hey, wanna ride down the steps on my back?"
Did you expect me to say no? :)
Exactly. So with me on his back, he bounded down the stairs like a hyper golden retriever while I clung to his back for dear life. But hitting the second floor was the best. Because once Craig started pounding down the stairs at top speed, is when I saw Adam, awkward little Christian boy who is so obviously in love with me, round the corner. He looked at me like I'd just grown a third eye. Oh and did I mention I'm in a dress? No, don't worry, nothing was exposed. Which is the exact reason why when Craig hit the landing I let out a whooping "HI ADAM!" At the top of my lungs before Craigel bounded any further down the stairs. I love that man XD
And even after those amazing examples of epicness, I actually was fullfilled today. Because not only did I go to reahearsal, but I apparently rocked my vocal recital. Ah recitals. They are cruel, cruel things...
I love how mine went perfectly well and I still refuse to get over my microphone incident. (Hey the light was green! Green=ON. Green does NOT equal MUTE!!!)
But no, the microphone malfunction is not what I am focusing on. I actually did a lot better than I thought I would. Everyone did a great job. This little kid, who's...what ten? He's microscopic compared to Mrs. Routt's (my vocal teacher's) normal teenage students, but he's probably more talented than most of us combined. He sang two songs and didn't forget a single word. Except maybe Rosie who sang Mama Who Bore Me from Spring Awakening and then sawed away masterfully at her fiddle, both times looking like she was doing something as commonplace as watching TV. Emily was great too. I loved her Italian song.
What was even crazier though was the nursing home we were singing at was the place where Nick Lachey's grandparents lived! And they came and saw the show! They're very nice people...and they compliemented me :) I sang Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better from Annie Get Your Gun with my voice teacher , but afterwards my family and I were talking to them about how The School for Creative and Performing Arts is such a special place. "It really is," I told them. "I've only been here for one year and I'm not goin' anywhere."
"Well you've made good use out of it young lady!" his grandfather said. Needless to say, I felt quite good :)
Still though, I can't wait to go to school tomorrow. That's because of what Mrs. Routt said about Daniel, who was supposed to sing with me, but then bailed so he could go see a play. So during my introduction while Mrs. Routt set up my mike and music she said "Yes. Frank Butler's Annie's boyfriend and Alexx's boyfriend bailed on her so I'm singing with her tonight." I almost fell over in laughter. I can't wait to see the look on Daniel's face when I inform him he's my boyfriend XD

The Epitome of Hippie :)

2009-05-12T20:10:00.001-07:00

I think that was the biggest compliement I've gotten in a long time. :)
All right, I had another wacky whimsical art school day, going over my recital stuff and lunch and hanging with Rillon all of 6th bell. I was also supposed to have rehearsal in Stuckey's room (band teacher) for the Class Day piece I'm working on with Gabby, Malika, Adrienne, and Paige. It was cancelled at the last minute though, not that any of us cared because we rounded up this enormous group of kids to walk to Chipotle from school. It was SO awesome and we wasted SO much time. Well, only the fifteen minutes outside of Penn Station debating on whether to go in, along with the extra five it took for Malika and Addie to take a picture of all of us leaning on a sign that said "We are Topless!" Worth it though. Walking around the city always calms me down and makes me laugh when I'm with my friends. I just couldn't help thinking today about how I'm doing all these things that the 10 year old within me never thought she'd get a chance to do. For instance (and I do not know why I can't remember the cartoon right now) I was thinking of a TV show I used to watch where this girl went to art school and hung around the city and how I though I would NEVER in a million years get to do something like that. And how I was. :) And how I wouldn't trade the fact that I was living a dream I hadn't believed could happen, for the entire world...
Even if we didn't make it to Chipotle :)
Yup. For about thirty minutes of walking Rillon, Rannie, and I never made it. We got to Fountain Square and had to turn back around to get me back to SCPA in time for me to get my stuff and have my father be blissfully unaware of the fact I'd walked all over the city today. But oddly enough, the walk back with just Rillon and Rannie was introspective in a way. I thought about what Rannie said about just catching the bus and riding to Chicago one day. She also asked me if I wanted to go into an apartment building and get an application to get an apartment. We attempted to, but the apartment was closed for some reason we couldn't figure out. It was sort of nice to see Rannie thinking about these things. Because I recognized her feelings exactly. It's the same thing I yearn for every time I see people walk where I'm not allowed to or do things I know I can't or go places with a freedom I would kill for that they take for granted. It's a prayer to break out of your shell. A prayer to live life according to the rules of no one, but yourself. And I don't know if she realized it, but I think I learned that about Rannie today...
I also learned that I run like Big Ed from Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Oh yeah. I'm cool :)
But my favorite part of the walk back was right after we determined that fact. And I have no clue what running like a cartoon character has to do with Rillon thinking this, but right after I ran across the street he goes, "You know I could really see you as a hippie." I thought it was a joke. Honestly the flower child bohemian things is actually the exact look and aura I go for, but in a school where so many people have achieved it so much better than me, I thought he was kidding. That's when Rannie made me feel awesome. By saying this.
"Uh...how could you not?"
"Yeah you're like the epitome of hippie."
I thanked them immensely for this. For a single reason. The epitome of hippie. I'd been described as the epitome of hippie. Damn right. My friend Donald that day had stopped by the office with his dreads and cargo pants to hand me a Peta brochure on animal cruelty and I won the epitome of hippie title. I meant every single syllable of every thank you I gave them :)
Guess I'm just glad the image I want is actually the one being projected to society X)

Okay, here's the happiness I promise :)

2009-05-11T19:06:00.001-07:00

Today was another fantastic day for a multitude of random reasons.
Days like this make me smile :)
For starters, I had the first civilized, friendly, happy conversation I've had with Daniel in a long time. That made me feel great. He's SO AWESOME to talk to when he doesn't feel like being a dick. Him, Katie Hoffecker, Brianna Hansen, and I had a long chat during 3rd bell because our drama teacher wasn't here. It was really pleasant actually. I love having pure, untainted conversations with people I like. Especially Katie and Brianna because I want to be friends with them very much, but I don't always get a chance to talk to them. Plus Katie and I both love The Green Mile, so that was an interesting thing to have in common. And Daniel's seen the Usual Suspects! :D Yeah, in case you couldn't tell, we talked about movies...and serial killers. Hey, horror movies were involved. And I did not know this, but I happen to have pretty vast knowledge of some of the world's most famous serial killers. I am a little creeped out by this fact. X) Another topic of conversation was how we met people too. I asked Katie where I met her and then told her about how I met Daniel. In the back of a fifth grade classroom on the first day of school. We laughed about a magnet was supposed to be a thumbs up sign...but looked NOTHING like that. "Aw that's cute!" Katie said. "Now if you guys get married you'll have a story."
Silence XD "Not saying you'll get married just-"
"Actually that would be kind of funny," I said after I thought about it (I also wanted to save Katie from any awkwardness) "Mommy how did you and Daddy meet? Well honey, it was the first day of high school, we saw a magnet that looked like a boner and we've been together ever since!" That made her laugh. I love making Katie Hoffecker laugh :)
Study hall was interesting too. Probably because I didn't go to it. This would be because Rillon and I went to "practice" our song. Meaning we spent forty minutes in the second floor hallway beating each other up over a notebook. He wrote songs and he would NOT let me see them unless it was over his dead body. Luckily his friend got in on beating him up though when he attempted to crash his choir class. Only problem was when this kid reached to grab him by the shoulders, he forgot that the short white girl was in the middle. In other words, I was between two huge black guys duking it out...and I carried on a conversation with the guy beating up Rillon. He was in the middle of strangling him and all I said was "Hey I'm Alexx. "
"Ian," he said with a huge smile.
"Nice to meet you." So I stood between him and Rillon and discussed whether the women near should be used as blockage when the men are attacked. He was a nice guy :) Then Rillon signed me up for book club...and chess club. He wrote NERD next to my name :)
I loved after school too even! I got to see Craig for the first time in ages. I missed the guy. He gives awesome hugs. :) And Adam said something really cute before he left for the bus. Okay, I owe my friend Miranda a Fruit By The Foot (long, sad, oddly funny story. Don't ask XD) and when I gave it to her, him and Skylar went crazy. "Hey where's mine!?"
"You hit me in the face on Friday!" I told Skylar (He really did. But don't worry, it was by mistake and it wasn't bad.)
"I'm nice to you ALL THE TIME," Adam said.
"Dude, that's just because you like her," Skylar pointed out. Adam was quiet for five seconds before he went.
"That is a whole different thing that is unrelated to fruit rollups!" You kind of had to be there, but I really thought it was cute. :) We gave him crap for almost openly admitting to liking me until he left for the bus. :)
Uggg, I REALLY need to ask him the thing about gay marriage. I need a good time to do it...hmm...maybe I could get Skylar talking about it. Everyone's a little less evil when Skylar's talking about politics. Mainly because Skylar's an idiot when it comes to anything involving the world outside his own. Ah idiots. God bless them and their stupidity. :) Wait, but maybe he's a homophobe too...
NO I am not deciding this now! It is 10:30 on a school night, I have clothes to lay out, and a song to ingrain into my head tomorrow, and a body going through puberty that is SCREAMING for sleep. X)
Nighty night. I'll write more tomorrow.

I promise there will be happiness tomorrow! XD

2009-05-10T19:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have one more debatable issue to touch on and then I promise tomorrow I will go back to descriptions of my happy, funny, non-controversial art school days tomorrow. I just have one more thing I want opinions on.
My friend who I'm not naming out of respect for her, has been my best friend since 6th grade. We braved through 6th grade choir, fought through 7th grade, and graduated 8th grade hand in hand with plenty of satires and sex jokes. We're the type of friends who stab at each other constantly and then come running the very second we even suspect that the other feels bad. Now we're both in our freshman year and we're doing everything we can to help each other through any tough spots we run into. Ingrain this into your head.
We are FOURTEEN.
And today she messaged me frantically asking for advice on a boy who wants to have sex with her.
This really bothered me. Don't worry, I don't think she'll do it. We had a long discussion and I know she's stronger than that. Just is it just me or is the age women are becoming sexually involved lowering?
Maybe I'm just worried for my friend, but our discussion tonight made me realize the entire issue sex is kept from a lot of teenagers. Even in the health classes I've gone through, no one has actually given me an age limit or an amount of time you should be dating the person. They only cover the basics. Public schools tell you that you need to stay safe and wear a condom and Catholic school made it clear you needed to slam your dick in a drawer and pray to God to take away your urges. They never told you when would be a good age to actually invoke these practices (So I guess I'm more aimed at Public School Sex Education then the Catholic school Chastity Ed) Parents aren't much help either. Most parents seem to feel that if they tell their children about the age they had sex it will give their kids permission to go out and screw anything that moves. And I don't understand this. I think if parents were open with their children about how old they were during their first time and how they felt about it, whether they should have waited or whether they felt it was right, would make a world of difference.
I'm trying not to ramble so here's my question. When do you feel is an appropriate age for people to start having sex? And how long do you think they should have been dating each other? I said out of high school and at least a year. I'll probably even wait longer than that. Anyway, what are your thoughts?
And if you comment with a few thoughts, I promise I'll write about something happy and non question asking tomorrow :)

Are We Really Ending The Silence?

2009-05-08T16:16:00.001-07:00

I protested something today. It's funny though. Even though I believed in this protest's cause with all my heart, mind and soul, the protest which was supposed to be fulfilling left me with more questions than I started with. Today any willing students at The School for Creative and Performing Arts took a day of silence (or attempted silence for those of us Drama majors :) to honor the silence faced by the bullied and harassed of the LGBT community. Considering that some of the kindest, funniest, and coolest people I know are part of this community and that I think the restricting of rights for those people is a disgrace to the morals our country attempts to instill in us, I quickly grabbed one of the cards reading "Please understand my reasons for not speaking today". That's when the wondering started.
First off, the Day of Silence was supposed to address the injustice of anti-LGBT bullying. But how can we do that if no one is talking? What purpose does the silence serve? Of course it was a powerful thing to see how people were willing to try as hard as they could to to protest this problem. But that's the thing. They weren't! They were sitting there with cards pinned on their shirts and tape on their mouths and not bringing attention to anything! LGBT rights is a cause I feel passionate in and that I hope to one day see everyone accepted regardless of who they choose to love. But I couldn't figure out this protest. It was meant to stop bullying...
But if they've driven you to silence, haven't the bullies won???
I am glad I participated though. I wanted to help in anyway I could. Though, I don't see how my silence today affected anyone much, but at least people now know where I stand on the issue. I sure found out where everyone stood today. When I came in with the Day of Silence card pinned onto my short sleeved hoodie my friend Emily kind of snickered and said "Good for you" in one of those voices girls use that sounds sarcastic and sugary all at the same time. But Shannon was incredible. She's pretty popular and she saw my card and walked over and mimed that she wanted me to come downstairs with her to get her a card. I didn't know she cared. Just the thought of that made me feel warm inside that I helped another person with the protest. :)
But with the big surge of pride I felt knowing Shannon was against the harassment, there was an enormous let down in another one of my friends. Which in fact happens to be the cause of my final pondering.
To understand my disappointment, you need to first understand the situation. Daniel, who is probably the meanest out of all my friends, is a strong liberal and believes in the expansion of gay, lesbian, and transgender rights almost as fervently as I do. And he eats lunch with my friend Adam, who is an equally enormous Republican. Look, just to clarify if you are a Republican, I'm not offended or anything like that. In fact, good for you, you're involved in politics. It's when you begin to exclude that I'm going to have a problem with you. I knew Adam went to Church. I knew he didn't support Obama. I knew it would probably be a meatheaded move on my part to talk to him about anything involving abortion. And I don't care! He has his opinions. It's America, not to mention how diverse of a school we're in. And we are kids. I don't typically bring up politics unless I feel the need too. Adam and I are typically too busy teasing each other and beating on Michael to think about it anyway. And not a lot of people know this, but at heart he's a gentleman so surely he couldn't truly be against anybody. God I wish I'd been right.
Daniel ran into me on the way to buy Ginger a drink with an angry look in his eyes. He broke his silence just long enough to tell me that Adam had seen his card, called him insane, and kicked him out of his table. I'd heard rumors Adam was a homophobe, but I'd ignored them. I guess I was hoping Adam, the guy who'd opened doors for me and defended me against Michael and Skylar, didn't really hate someone for a reason as stupid as the sex they were drawn to.
The whole thing confuses me. Especially considering the relationship we have. It's sort of complicated to explain, but Adam and I have a really unorthodox relationship for being two 14 and 15 year olds. I mean, I love the guy I really do. But it's not the lusty, fast, I wanna f*** you love most people assume all teenagers feel when we love someone. It's a lot more innocent. Really innocent. Like the way you loved someone in kindergarten when love was hugging someone, or holding someone's hand, or being able to talk to them about Pokemon and kickball and stupid things. It's really the purest type of love I guess. I know that entire paragraph probably just made you roll your eyes. But that's how I feel about him. Lots of people think he's a freak. Which is true to some extent. I mean he's the most awkward person I've ever met in my life, essentially he has the rep of an awkward little Christina boy, but you know what? He's MY awkward little Christian boy.
But that's I thought of my gay friends. How Tabari made me feel so accepted the first month I came to my school. How Donald made me feel safe and warm inside whenever I needed it most. How Dantez gives the best hugs. That's when I realized I wanted to grab Adam by his hair, shove his face into mine and scream "WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO DANIEL? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ALL THE GAYS IN THIS SCHOOL? HOW CAN YOU BE SO CLOSE-MINDED?!?!" It's bothering I guess. I don't know how to tell him that the cause of Rainbow Rights is something I believe in with all my heart and soul. I'll probably openly make a comment and see how he responds. I know Adam loves me back in the exact kindergarten way I love him. I just hope he can see that he's closing himself off from a group of nice, loving, beautiful people simply because they aren't attracted to the same gender he is.
Any thoughts on this?
Please?

Fundiferousness

2009-05-05T17:14:00.000-07:00

It has been a good past few days, though I have been quite weighed down with artistic duties (I complain not.:) Yes. By next week I have to get my lousy and deeply hated scene graded(cannot WAIT until that's do XP), get my solo in No One down in time perform at Class Day for the seniors, memorize my vocal parts for Oklahoma where I have to sing tenor in one song and soprano in another, magically whip together a song for my Suesical audition, and still have time to memorize the song Anything You Can Do in time to perform it for another vocal recital.
And loving every second of it :)
Well, except the scene, but that will be out of my life by Friday. I just hope Mrs. Klee still thinks I'm a hard worker.
Anyway, getting off my self pity now the past couple days have been awesome. All I did Monday was hang outside until four when I went back in to practice with the miniscule choir Paige and Jamila have set up for Class Day. We're singing No One by Alicia Keys and for a first rehearsal, we did AMAZING...and considering my straight 2 minute hug with Rillon almost made my breast bone collapse into my chest, I still managed to get a solo :) After that all I did was go outside and hang with my friends and practice my monolouge and kicking Rannie's ass in stage combat. The night actually went really well. And I did not drop my accent on my Southern monolouge the ENTIRE TIME. Only I think it's going to my head because when I was practicing Michael was pretending to be my parents and cheering and talking to me and stuff and when I insulted him it sounded like Miss Georgia had just sworn at him. I didn't even break my accent to tell Michael he was a four letter word. Happiness :)
Same with the past two days too. Everything has been fine. Like everything went perfectly smooth today. I was at school until five so during the wait for Class Day rehearsal I went to Coffee Emporium and Rannie and I attempted to straighten Michael's hair as Rannie and I mooched off all the food he got. Oh, and we figured out Zac Efron's porno name in the process. XD We were walking down Central Parkway talking about how awkward Michael looked with his hair straightened and he goes "I look like an awkward Jack Efron." I burst out laughing before I could breathe and my perverted mind went "That sounds like a porno name!" At the top of my lungs in the middle of the city. Rannie and Michael were on a busy and rainy city street with me though. And the almost fell into the ground they were laughing so hysterically.
And hanging out with Rillon the past couple days has been incredible too. He's one of my really close band geek and techie friends who's an incredible musician and a hilarious guy to be around. I never get to see him though because I'm in Drama. But the past week I've followed the saxophone music to the fifth floor every morning and hung out with him talking about jazz songs, and starting bands, and stolen things :) He even saved me yesterday from feeling left out. Here's the story.
I came into study hall late on Tuesday because of a voice lesson to find Kali and Daniel attempting to pull off the pathetic plot of telling Mrs. Cochrane that they needed to go to 6th bell lunch for a science expirement. Daniel came up with a really elaborate title for it. I think he told her that they were studying The Different Behaviors of High School Cliques. He told that to Mrs. C. and she was like, "Oh, can you name four cliques that your observing?" Daniel stammered and then walked away. Kali trying to convince me was even more sad.
"Yeah," Kali was trying to explain to me. "For an expirement. Since Daniel and I are both in chemistry we figured..."
"Daniel's in Biology Kali."
"No he's no-"
"I'm in his first bell class."
Mrs. Cochrane literally spent the first five minutes of class looking at them and then at each other and shaking our heads at how fake we knew they were. And this really made me happy considering that I had a feeling she thought I was a ho for hanging out with a group of guys every study hall. Really, from the eye of a person that knew them, I knew Kali just really wanted to talk to his girlfriend and Daniel is too much of a dick to even attempt to hold a conversation with me on his own so the answer to both of their problems was sixth bell lunch...and leaving me behind. She let them go anyhow though. And I really was beginning to feel left out while they left the room knowing full well they didn't want me to come with them.
But that was the weird thing. The second they were on their way out, Rillon showed up at the door, peeking in like the creeper he is and goes "Hey Alexx, you wanna practice that thing for Class Day?"
My knight with a saxophone strap :)
It took a couple runs back and forth between the third and first floor, but in a matter of minutes I was on my way to Dr. Rudnick's office to ask if Rillon and I could sing Sugar (best jazz song in the WORLD) for Class Day. No one was there when we walked in though. Rillon still tried to make me laugh though, because he opened the door to Dr. Izy's office and said in a high pitched voice "Hey Dr. Rudnick. Yeah, we were just, uh wondering if we could sing dis little song for Class Day?...what? Oh, okay. Bye."
"Was he even in there?"
"Nope." It didn't matter though. We both knew full well there was probably no way in our mere exsistence that we could ever hope for Rudnick to let us do our act for Class Day. And it didn't matter at all. Because we just spent the entire sixth bell in Mr. Stuckey's room, fooling around on his incredible keyboard and trying to figure out what to write a song about. We even went to senior showcase together. For those of you who aren't SCPAers by the way (which is pretty much, um...EVERYONE in my following x) ) Senior Showcase is when all the majors come together to put on this enormous showcase of musical acts and dances for their last big SCPA performance. It was soooo good. JJ sang a song to his girlfriend, Lucas was voted most likely to be president (not a suprise :), and a girl who couldn't sing at all sang a song that almost perfectly described my relationship with Daniel.
Then there was also this random group thrown in there called The Cupcakes.
Yeah...Rillon and I were kinda scared by that.
But the greatest act of the entire show, by far, was Jeremy's monolouge. After two hours of mind numbing modern/ballet dance solos and jazz songs (okay it wasn't mind numbing...at all, but still) I figured the drama majors had just been forgotten. Until Jeremy's piece came. Jeremy was dragged out by another Drama student. He was sat simply on a chair in front of a microphone, with his button up shirt turned wrong side around to make it look like a straight jacket.
And it was one of the most haunting, welldone, riveting, all out shitlessly scary monolouges I've ever had the privledge to see performed. I'll have to get the name for you, but oh my God. I couldn't move when he was done. It was one of those uneasily moving performances where you have to take a breath and draw yourself back to reality once it's over...
The second it ended, Rillon stood up and shot out of the auditiorium! XD
Haha, wimp :)

Patches of Blue and Spots of Red

2009-05-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Uhhhh. Yesterday was so good and today is going to be yesterday's equivalent of boring. I have an enormous to do list considering that this is one of the first days this week I've had free time. Meaning that I have to
1. Finish typing my book report on A Patch of Blue and rewrite the two things that need rewritten for English
2. Go over my Drama night monologue like my life depends on it being flawless (which it kind of does considering I dropped my scene)
3. Do the Biology homework for Anderson's class that was supposed to be finished Friday
4. Sing along with the chords of the song I wrote and then check to see if Suesical auditions will accept CDs
Oh yeah, and I have to get presents for Abigail, Kelci, and my little brother who are all people I love who happen to have birthday's in the same two day span of Monday and Tuesday...well I don't necessarily love Abigail. Her gift is kind of more like a peace offering considering I want to be her friend and she seems to have no care for my mere existence. Or that could be untrue. I dunno, bottom line is I like her so she gets chocolate. :)
AND I have to blog to you about yesterday and how I hung out with this really nice girl named Laura at Oklahoma rehearsal and we walked to McDonald's and chilled on the playground and talked about creepy people, and crushes, and guys the whole time before we were called in to be assigned solos. And how I get to start off the song Out of My Dreams and how great that is because I'm going to get a chance to sing soprano when I have never gotten to do that due to my man voice....
Oh. Well it looks like I just did. :) Well in that case, I better go work. Ciao lovelies! I shall blog later.

Bittersweet Day

2009-05-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, today is another reason I believe in silver lining.

Today was fantastic in some ways and sickening in others. Sickening is the first thing I'll talk about so I can get it out of the way and then look at the positives. The scene we were "working" on this week is what we performed in Drama class today. We crashed and burned. It was horrible. But I felt safe because Mrs. Kleesattel told us we could drop the scene if we didn't feel comfortable with it. When we asked her if we could drop 6th bell though, she got really angry and she...no. I'm not repeating words that make me feel so bad. Don't worry, it's not like she swore or called us untalented or anything, I just don't want to have a precise and clear memory of Mrs. Kleesattel, my first real Drama mentor, being that disappointed and angry at me. I felt sick for a long time after she 'talked' with us. That emotional sickness that's an enormous mixture of guilt, anxiety, and anger and disappointment in yourself. Kind of the way you'd feel if you just completely let down someone who was trying to help you and they slammed the door in your face for it.

But then a window opened. I went to study hall after this incident. Butterflies made of lead were pounding against the lining of my stomach, my head was spinning in all the things I should have done better, and I was pretty sure there were enough tears forming in me to flood the tri-state area. I usually love my study hall. Typically it's the forty-five minutes of my day spent giggling with Kali, Daniel, and Cedric talking movies, music, and sex jokes. But I couldn't do it today. And I wasn't about to cry in front of those guys. I was afraid if I broke down they wouldn't know how to take it. So within a few minutes of entering my study hall I begged to run to the bathroom. My cell phone was shoved in my pocket and I planned to let out some tears, then attempt to call my mom, who can always make things better like only mom's can. But walking toward the girl's bathroom, which I NEVER have done during sixth bell in the entire history of my education at this school, is where I found what I needed. And it's name was Liz.

All right, Liz Brazile is this violinist who if she felt like it, could probably get through her entire life on her looks if she wanted. Seriously. Liz looks like an Egyptian queen. I always thought she seemed like a good person, like someone you'd like to hang out with, but since she never showed up in my regular group of friends, I doubted she even liked me that much. But she proved me wrong when she caught me in the hallway.

"Hey Alexx...are you okay?"

"Yeah...I just..." I told her everything that happened. And I never would have guessed she would have been that kind to me out of the blue. But she was! She just stood there in the middle of the hallway and told me how everyone has their bad days and no one's perfect and we all make mistakes and how you just need to move on and get over it. She even gave me a hug before she left. "Thanks Liz," I said, even though I was still crying a little. "That helped a lot."

"It's okay. I just can't stand to see my friends cry." That hit me so hard. I laughed and told her that I should go get over it before she walked away. But she made sure I felt better in the last class we had together. And I can't really explain why, but whenever anyone does something nice to me like that, fireworks go off inside me in this big beautiful explosion of 'Oh my God you guys care! You guys actually care about my tiny little life!' Especially when someone at school does it. When someone helps me, it's one of those things where no matter what just happened to me, this warm feeling of acceptance and love hits me like a wave.

And it didn't stop with just her! Everyone helped me. Rannie assured me Mrs. K would forgive me, Olivia listened to me bitch, Christina told me she loved me...Mitch even gave me a huge hug when he saw how sad I was when I crashed his Geometry class. He actually came over, consoled me, and went to put his stuff down so he could hug me properly. Even Daniel, my amazing, incredible, inhumanly evil best guy friend tried to make me feel better. "Yeah, if she forgives Mitch, she'll forgive anything." He said. I smiled. "That was supposed to make you laugh," he commanded. Ha! The only person in the world who has ever commanded me to laugh! Oh Daniel, you amazing, amazing bastard, what would I ever do without you?

Then Craig caught me at the end of the day and pretended to start a fight with me in the middle of the hallway, even accidentally ramming my backpack into a poor civilian standing nearby. And he gave me the best hug before I left. Even my dad got in on it! I'd informed him about the problems with the scene and in English I texted him randomly and asked him if this was stupid and if I was a failure for dropping it. I didn't even think he liked it when I used text to reach him, but I soon got one back that said, "No, honey you're not a failure!" We even got a treat on the way home. Sliders. As usual :)

You know, looking back on the events of today, there is no way in the world that it's fair to have this many people be so friendly to stupid me in such a short period of time. I wish everyone is surrounded by people this supportive all the time. Because right now it feels like I am. And even though I still feel a little bummed, I also feel like the luckiest girl in the world :)

Super Crazy Panic Time!

2009-04-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a very quick and awkward post, but I need a post today and I need to place my panic somewhere other than just in my stomach, because it's causing it to knot up.

All righty, I really need it to be 2nd bell tomorrow. At this very moment. Right now.

My Drama Night is on Thursday. And for those of you who don't know Drama Night at The School for Creative and Performing Arts is when the entire drama class (or just our drama class in this case) puts together a showcase of scenes and monolouges to show the parents what we've been working on this quarter. It's one of the nights that effects your Drama Grade for that semester. And my good buddy Michael (who I am currently about to beat with a sharpened stapler...no I don't know how to sharpen a stapler, but I will find a way) suggested that him, Brittney, and I do a scene together for Drama Night. We've had this scene since last week and we were supposed to have practiced it after school last Tuesday, Wendsday, and Thursday and today.

Okay, Brittney did not come. Any of the days. And all Michael and I have blocked are the first give or take, three minutes? Oh, and did I mention I have a three paragraph monolouge which though I have memorized the first part of the play, I have NOT AT ALL been able to ingrain this monolouge into my brain.
And Michael won't let me out of it. He keeps saying "Oh, well we'll work hard and we can do it."
Okay, Michael failed his Boards last semester. I'll explain what Boards are in a later post, but bottom line is Michael is hanging onto his major in the Drama Department BY A THREAD. His word on any scene or monolouge holds no credit at all.
I can't do this scene. And I am detirmined to get out of it. Only problem is, tomorrow I have to go in and explain this dilemma to Mrs. Kleesattel. She gave me a pep talk yesterday on self confidence when I said I didn't think our scene was funny. And she's typically an incredibly understanding person, I just really hope that this time she doesn't brush my panicking off as a self confidence problem and make me do the scene anyway. Because we WILL NOT be ready. And I don't want to make my scene partners, Mrs. Kleesattel, or the entire 3rd bell Drama class look bad because we aren't prepared. Plus, honestly, if it was a self confidence problem, I would have made myself get over it. Because it is true I don't have a lot of confidence in the work I do, seeing as I'm in a place with so many talented people and I like to think that going into something with a low expectation and failing doesn't hurt as much as going in with enormous expectations and failing. But I would make myself get over it. I did that with my Southern monolouge and now I'm doing it for Drama Night. I can't do this scene though.
Gosh I hope she understands...

Oklahoma Slip XD

2009-04-27T18:54:00.000-07:00

Oklahoma rehearsal. The first read through and I already screwed up...but in the most hilarious way.
As incredibly random as this post may be, rehearsal, though tedious ended hysterically. In this production, I'm playing Ellen, who is one of those parts that has a whole THREE LINES!:D I know, not much, but hey there are no small parts. Anyway, one of my incredible three lines involve me talking to Gertie after she informs my group of girls that she's gotten married. Now the line is technically "Lands!(Who says that by the way???) Who'd you marry? Where is he?" But somehow I unfortunately misread the line and said (in an enormous Southern accent) "Lands! Who'd marry you!?" Causing the entire cast to roar with laughter. It took me nearly the entire course of their laughter to figure out that the line I said was completely wrong. All I could hear was the director making a joke.
"We should just keep that line in the show!" He said. I didn't know if he was serious until after the read through when he asked if there were questions.
"Yeah, uh, for that marrige line, I misread that, but do you really want me to keep it like that?"
"You know what? For now..." He choked out a laugh between this. "Since your rewrite is essentially the thing everyone in the cast is thinking at that moment in the show, yeah keep it in." Everyone was giggling by this point. "I might change it as the show goes along, but for now..." He grinned ear to ear while he stacked is papers straight. "That's why I love live theatre."
I got congradulations from everyone on the way out. I wish I screwed up my lines like that more often xD

The Honest Scrap Award

2009-04-26T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggers! I was at the cabin all weekend so sorry I couldn't post anything new. Though thank you for all your lovely comments on my last post. :) Sometimes I just really need to be reminded I'm not crazy.

Anyway the cabin was loads of fun. We ate doughnuts and talked and I got to burn a Jonas Brothers magazine cover with a blow torch. You gotta love my uncle :) Also, I taught my little cousin to kayak and my aunt taught me a morbid Girl Scout song about the Titanic.
It's been a full weekend.

Though I must confess to you guys that I've wanted to be home all weekend. I miss Craig and Kali and Rannie, not to mention my goal to shower. And that has been my goal since...oh say...Friday night??? Yes disgusting I know. But don't worry. I just got back from biking to an ice cream place to see my friend and the second I finish this post I'm barricading myself in the bathroom and pampering myself into oblivion. What can I say?My legs are begging to be shaved. Still though, I told Anonymous Bloggette I would do this and I attempt to keep my word, so here you go Anonymous Bloggette. I didn't forget ;)

Okay, for those of you who will get a comment after I post this, I wanted to tell you that I'm giving you the Honest Scrap Award, just the picture decided it didn't want to be put on my blog. I don't know what I did to offend it exactly, but anyway the rules for this award are as follows:

1.) List 10 honest things about yourself
2) Pass it on to 7 cool people who embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap Award

10 Honest things about me...hmm...Here goes nothin'.

1) I think like characters in books do. This is kind of hard to explain, but you know how when you read a book that's written in first person and the character says something like...I dunno, "I shakily held my breath as I crept masterfully down the hall. My toe struck a hard side of the wall. Shit. Pain shot all the way through my leg, but I just grimaced and carried on, careful not to make a sound." You know what I mean? Anyway I think like that. About everything I do. All the frigging time. You would honestly have a pretty well written read if you put the thoughts I had in the span of a day together.

2) I have a lot of sympathy for some of the scum of the earth. Like murders. It used to be one of the only reasons I was for the death penalty was because I didn't want anyone to go through the horror of spending the rest of their lives in prison. I don't know why I feel this exactly. Probably because my apparatus for mercy kicks in before the thought of how horrible a person is does.

3) One of my 'friends' (actually the very one who provoked the thoughts of my last post) almost made me cut off her head because of something she said about Esme. Esme was this incredibly nice little girl at my school who was brutally murdered by a complete monster who (this is so horrible but true) I hope is shivved in prison for the pain he caused her and her family. Now, my 'friend' didn't know Esme and wasn't connected to her in any way. Her school isn't even in the same district as mine. Yet when she went on one of her "Oh my life is so terrible" rants one of the reasons she said was that SHE has a hard life because it makes her feel so bad that innocent people like Esme are murdered. Not she feels bad for the family, not she feels bad it happened...no. She essentially said that Esme's death made HER life more difficult.

Like I said. I wanted to kill her.

4) Probably the most pathetic thing about me is that even though this girl is one of the most pathetic people I've ever met, I keep her and my other friend around because I feel better about myself when I'm around them. It's so selfish and conceited and horrible, but I feel so cool around them because my life in theater and music seems so much more glamorous when compared to their more normal lives. There I think I'm even for saying mean things about the girl above now.

5) Really small, REALLY stupid things make me crazy happy. And a lot of enormous things don't effect me. You see when I walk anywhere with my city friends, like when we went to Coffee Emporium on Tuesday and spent the whole time talking and joking and stealing each others drinks and food... I was in heaven. I was ecstatic for no other reason other than that I was with funny, loving people who wanted to be funny and loving towards me. But then I stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial staring across the reflecting pool at the Washington Monument, something many Americans hope to do before they die...
And all I could think was "Damn it's hot."

5) The Jonas Brother, Miley Cyrus, and The entire HSM cast are what is causing the economic crisis. And the housing meltdown. And world hunger....just sayin'.:) They're probably the reason younger and younger children are turning to drugs and alcohol. Wouldn't surprise me.

6) Making people laugh or think or feel some sort of emotion besides annoyance and boredom is the greatest feeling in the world. And the main reason I'm in theater. I want people to feel something.

7) The three greatest honors of my life are getting into SCPA, knowing all the fantastic wonderful people I do, and hugging Lucas Wozniak...and the people that know him will probably think that's an awkward thing to have on the list, and maybe it is. But the truth is, I don't have the strength to tell him, but I think he's the coolest person in the world :)

8)There is no such thing as the "gay plague" or the "gay disease" or "Barack Obama wanting to create a nation of gays". None of this is funny, fair, accepting, or true in any conceivable way. And if you don't agree with this, I believe it's best you leave my blog now.

9) Fakeness really, really bothers me. Which is weird because I can't give you my definition of fakeness at all. When I meet you, I can just tell if you are or not. And if you are, I'll still be your friend if your nice, but I'll really have a problem with it.

10) Oh and to the fake people of the world I would just like to declare that I own one and only one legit designer item...I have a Marc Jacobs change purse :) I got the Daisy ring for my birthday and that's what it came in. Yeah anything on me you ever thought was Marc Jacobs came from a thrift store. A THRIFT STORE. That's right, I paid less for my outfit than you paid for your socks. Suck it :)

Seven People Who Deserve This Award

Instant Pudding

Anonymous Bloggette

Sparkles and Crumbs

Accidentally, kle

Icy974

Black Vanilla Rose

Pop Champagne

Well there you go guys :) I'll be sure to comment you all later. But right now, like I said. Legs+Shave= GOOD

He may be nice, but you don't NEED him

2009-04-23T15:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, I need to get this off my chest and make sure there are actually sensible people in the world who agree with me.
All right, a few moments ago I was called by an old friend, who is becoming less and less of a friend as time goes by due to the fact she's become one of those people who willingly change herself for any possible form of popularity. Also no matter how horrible of a thing happens to someone else she'll find a way to make it effect her in some poor, pathetic, completely uncalled for way in which she tries to make it appear she is the victim, instead of the one that actually went through the hardship itself.
Anyway, one of her favorite topics is how and why she cannot get a boyfriend or a boy even interested in her due to how (her words by the way) fat, ugly, and unpopular she is. I honestly believe the reason no boys find an interest in her is due to the fact she's whiny, obnoxious, and racist, but that's beside the point. Any how, she called me today to tell me how her and Damien (Who I swear to Jesus she described as her 'stalker' less than a week ago) are in what us teenagers define as a relationship. Leaving me to be the only within one of my multiple groups of friends (the two I reference now are this girl and my friend Catie who have both known me since my years as a wired nine-year-old in Tina Fey glasses) who seems to be without a boyfriend. This came up within the first two minutes of the conversation.
"Yeah," my friend told me after she broke the news to me about her and Damien going out. "Me and Catie were talking and we were just like, yeah now all we need to do is get Alexx a boyfriend and we'll be set."
"Yeaaaaah...no thanks." I replied.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Oh nothing, I'm just not one of those people who needs a guy to validate her exsistence."
You can't IMAGINE how much I wanted her to understand the message behind what I just said. The message being 'You're desperate. Don't do this. You're reaching the point where you would go out with Bin Laden if he asked you to.' And I truly thought she got the message due to the fact she was silent for a good thirty seconds on the other end of the line. Then she said it. She had to put this indescribably idiotic question into the world.
"Oh...are you sure?"
Am I sure? What was that supposed to mean? It could have been just me, but didn't that sound like she thought there had to be something wrong with me? For not wanting a boyfriend???
This got me thinking and I had an incredible urge to voice this opinion to the Internet community. Why are women so obsessed? Look, guys almost never base the type of person they are off the girl they date.
Why the hell should we???
Look, I love guys I really do. Some of the nicest, sincerest, funniest people I know are guys. To name a few, when my friend Daniel compliements me, I feel like I've done something fantastic. When Craig hugs me, I know that there can't be a cooler person in the world. And there are some things my friend Michael says that make me cry from laughing so hard.
But these same people during at least some point in my relationship with them have (and this is randomly ordered so you don't think less of them) openly checked out girls in front of me, called me a stripper, made me feel worthless without batting an eyelash, or nearly got taken in by a cop that was passing by. I love them and my other guy friends to death. But why would you let someone so capable of hurting you define anything that you do? Yes I know they aren't perfect and I love them regardless of their flaws, but isn't it YOUR life? Guys are great, but when I get a compliement from a director, make an audition I've scrutanized over for months, or even when I'm just sitting in Coffee Emporium laughing and screwing off with a bunch of people I love, I have never in my life stopped even for a second and thought 'Hey you know what would make this, like 115% better??? If I had a boyfriend!' NO! I'm too preoccupied with being happy. And if you do that, you need to realize what a fantastic and incredible person you are on your own. Boys don't do that for you. In fact I've heard way too many stories from girl cousins and friends about how a boy told them they loved them, made out with them, and then decided the girl across the room was prettier.
No, not all men are that shallow. I actually hope to find my soulmate one day and I know couples who have found theirs and the proves that not all men are skin deep and horny. Also, no I don't believe teenagers shouldn't date. They should, but only with people they feel comfortable about dating. If they were expected to date just to have someone on their arm for social events, hell I would've thrown myself at the guy in the wizard costume. And it's not like I'm a reclusive, anti-social, ugly girl desperately attempting to reap her revenge on men through the internet or something. I have been asked by people this year. Nice, decent, loving people who I just didn't feel were right for me. So regardless of how I in fact would like a boyfriend, I said no. Because when you think about it, I'm a fourteen year old at a prestigious art school who has a deep passion for her art and wants to make a successful career out of it. In other words, hello! I have my LIFE to think about. And while yes a boyfriend would be nice, one of those is actually one of the last things I need.
Thank you.

Quotes!:D

2009-04-23T14:57:00.001-07:00

I was feeling that it was around the time to purge my Facebook quotes box and start anew. But I couldn't get rid of all these amazing things! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll lose five pounds! Read on for happiness :)

Poor Jud is diad, poor Jud is diad. He's lookin all so pretty and so nice. He looks like he's asleep. It's a shame that he won't keep. But it's summer, and we're runnin' outta ice-Oklahoma

Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to muesuems or Broadway musicals as children-Libby Gelman-Waxner

Anything Fred Astaire can do, Ginger Rodgers can do backwards and in heels.

If life was easy where would the adventures be?

Fuck this clown-Zombieland

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together-The Beatles

Yeah Eddy an elephant never forgets, but I forget what the elephant remembered. -Big Ed

What Catie? You have to go to the bathroom for twenty minutes? All right!-Wren

"You know Mom, I know EXACTLY what I'm going to get you next Christmas. A BIG wooden cross so that everytime you feel you aren't appreciated, you can just climb up there and nail yourself to it!"-The Ref

"Dream as if you'll live forever, love as if you'll die today"-James Dean

"What is this spoon you speak of?" "It's like a spork, but it's not"-Rillon

Buddy the Elf, what's you're favorite color?-Elf

"We're goin' on a low speed chase"-Rachel Schwarz

Rillon: Aw, naw gurl, you don't wanna use dat thang
"Is he retarded?"-an unnamed 5th grader who I will love till I die

"Is there a baby in this microwave?!?!"-Michael Newberry

"LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!"-Auntie Mame

Hey, I'm a Chemistry teacher, if I wanted to get rid of you, they wouldn't know how I did it.-Mr. Norman

Unless this is a lesbian catfight I'm breakin' it up-Wren

Are you okay to drive home? You did get pretty crazy tonight-Kelly after watching me knock back a can of Sprite at Brentwood Bowl

"Alexx. Mrs. Androgonous."-Emily Wuerdeman discussing a certain unloved history teacher

"Did you know that feline AIDS is the number one killer of cats?"- Adam Green

Adam Green: I've very nice, press my hand for a compleiment. (I press his palm)Adam: I like your hair(Michael presses his palm. Brief silence.)Adam:There is no compliement

"West Texas is like a litte nicer than hell. Have you ever been to Texas?""No.""Then why would you say that you want to live there?""COMBOYS ARE COOL OKAY!?"-Rachel Schwarz

Tempt not a desperate a man-Romeo and Juliet

It's not common sense, it's rare sense because no one had it anymore!-The all-knowing, keeper of wisdom that is Jenelle

"Aww. Can you hit the high BITCH note???"-my dad after I told him about a vocalist who was mean to me.

"I would honestly feel more comfortable running naked down the halls"-Rannie McCants speaking of her ponytail

"Who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town?!"-The Producers

(Daniel Westheimer)"You know Victoria, why are you obsessed with Kali? I just don't understand that. Because if I were a gay man, I would not find Kali very attractive."(Moment of silence)"I thought you WERE gay."-Creepy girl in study hall

"Silence! I kill you!"-Ackmed the Dead Terrorist

"Oh damn! Britney's going through a bad breakup. Alexx quick, we need Advil, some chocolate and a banana!!!"-Michael Newberry

"Shut up or I will rape your dog with a blowdryer"-Kali Uttley

"Oh...she has friends? Really?"-Rachel Schwarz

I hold it true, whate'er befall;I feel it, when I sorrow most;'Tis better to have loved and lostThan never to have loved at all.-Alfred Lord Tennyson

"You are not going to get hit by a car.""Adam. Every time you say that something won't happen to me, it does. So when I get hit by a semi tomorrow-""NO! Okay if I see a car coming at you I will jump in front of it and push you out of the way...which will probably result in ME getting hit by a car but at least I'll be right!"-Adam Green (We later detirmined that when this happened knowing our luck, I'd get hit by a semi after he pushed me out of the way of said car)

I was born with an enormous need for affection.And a terrible need to give it.-Audrey Hepburn.

Me: I get White Castles tonight!Katie: I heard those are good when you're drunk.Me: I don't see why.Daniel: I think it works kind of like beer goggles.Me: What are you talking about?Daniel:You know how if you drink enough ugly girls look cute? I think that works with White Castle but with taste.

Neighborhood kids just mowed my lawn and all I gave them was porn. LOL!! Just kidding! I *loaned* them the porn.-Sween

No, it's okay, we're gonna go hill hopping naked-Rachella Schwarz

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people

The problem with the rat race is even if you win, you're still a rat-Lilly Tomlin

"Well you smell like a cow""Well you smell like manure. Besides that's not cow that's the new flame broiled cologne from Burger King"-John Boyd

Jazmyn:Where does water come from?Me: Hydrogen and OxygenEmily: I was gonna say the groundDeidra:I was gonna say God.

"I'm said because the only other girl over there left me""Who was the other girl?""Daniel."-Ginger

(A friend of mine trying to motivate me through a scene) "NO! Okay, Alexx you're like a coke addict. Your like a crazy coke addict who has not had any cocaine in like seven days when you used to do it like EVERY day sometimes like four times a day!""You know, you should really stop smoking."-Mr. Newberry

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death-Auntie Mame

Oh my dear friend LADIES 'feel unwell'. Gentlemen vomit-Peter O'Toole

How much of human life is wasted waiting?-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It's like Jimmy Feelin used to say. What are three words that always make you cringe.""What?""Saw Mill Accident"-Edward Alton Rouse

(After I just said I didn't know if I was worthy) Don't say that. Don't EVER say that-Katie's friend Rachel

(Daniel singing) "Why don't we do it in the rooooad.""Um...cuz it's cement. There are plenty of reasons not to do it in the road"-Sam Cowan

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world

Wizardly Flirting :) (long but PLEASE read!)

2009-04-19T11:07:00.001-07:00

Wow. Friday and Saturday were great. I love my school. And my friends. And White Castles. Oh yeah, I LOVE White Castles.

Anyway, Friday the entire high school portion of my school walked down the street to the Aranoff Theater in Cincinnati to see our school's production of Moon Over Buffalo. Which may I say, is one of the most well written plays I have ever had the privilege to see performed. For those of you who don't know, Moon Over Buffalo is a Ken Ludwig comedy about these two well known aging actors, their daughter, her fiance', and their friends within the acting company they're currently working in that alternates every night between a production of Cyrano and Private Lives. It was hysterical. Every one did so well. And I got to see my friend Lucas walk in while two other upperclassmen were on top of each other. The leading woman's line was "Oh, he just came out of the closet." She meant this literally. The leading man had just stumbled out of the closet and the boy playing the stage hand was literally ON TOP of him trying to put his pants on. So without even thinking Lucas screams "I can see that!" Oh my God it was SO funny. You have to see it if you ever get the chance. It's a hilarious play. And Lucas caught me later and before I could even say high he went "I saw you in the front row!" You gotta love Lucas. He essentially played himself in that production. I'm not kidding. He came out in a three piece suit and I was like "Hey! I've seen you wear that to school!" Like I said. I kid you not :)

Then on the way back I got to walk with Rannie and Stephanie and then skip my lunch bell due to the fact that I didn't want to go upstairs. So I spent the entire time in the 2nd floor girls bathroom with Gabby and her two other friends, who were both really nice. Why can't I remember names? I am quite cursed when it comes to that. :)

And that was just the beginning. My father picked me up at the end of the day we blasted music then went home a proceeded to eat every form of food that could clog your arteries. Before going to see Monsters vs. Aliens (My idea :) Go see it, the 3D will make you pee yourself) we had eaten half of a chocolate cake along with a bunch of stuff we got at this local restaurant called Symmes Tavern. Oh, and did I forget to mention the chocolate pudding, oyster crackers, and five White Castles a piece that both of us ate at eleven o'clock at night in the middle of Casablanca? Oh yeah. I was pretty thankful I didn't wake up in a diabetic coma the next morning :)

(Speaking of Casablanca, it was the first time I'd seen it. And if you have not see that movie, shut off your computer right now, run to Blockbuster and rip it off the shelf. I kid you not)

Tonight was awesome too. I ran into my old friend Christina at Wal Mart and Rachel and I went to see her play Hansel and Gretel later that night. Since the Hamilton Freshman Building put it on it wasn't exactly...ahem...amazing, but a couple parts were great. The girl who played Hansel for instance, was a very believable little boy and had the voice and mannerisms down and everything. The witch was fantastic at her part too, along with her henchmen Frick and Frack. Same with the girl playing Lydia the Gypsy. She was awesome, really animated, and sassy. And her long blue-green skirt, blue and gold vest, earrings, and blue scarf/headband were actually cute enough for me to want to steal. But then again that was just the girl playing the gypsy in general. She was this petite little thing with shiny brunette hair and the most adorable smile. She looked almost dead on my friend Ashley Johnston from 5th grade. And when I walked up to her afterwards and told her how great a job she did and how she was probably my favorite character, she got all excited and let out this big "THANKS!" and gave me a hug.
She had never met me in her life.
I loved that girl. I would be friends with her in a heartbeat :)
The greatest part of the play though was the end when we were outside talking to people. The crew of Hansel and Gretel were all actors so at intermission they all wandered around dressed as the leads from the Wizard of Oz asking people where the yellow brick road was. It was actually a pretty good gag and Rachel and I know a lot of people through community theater so afterwards we caught up with some old friends of ours. Like we both talked to Cody, who was posing as the Tin Man who I did Pageant with and Rachel was in Les Miz with. Then Rachel recognized the wizard and started talking to him.
Okay, you need to be able to picture this. This kid was at least six feet tall, with blond hair under a wizard hat, wearing a spandex running suit with shorts and a t-shirt over it along with multiple layers of what was no doubt lead (or at least grease) based green paint perfectly applied to his face with a drawn on black mustache to top it off with.
Eh, I'd seen weirder at school :) Anyway we were just standin' there talkin', shootin' the breeze, chatting, whatever you wanna call it. And this is one other thing that must be made clear.
We were talking about dogs. Name one thing less sexy than and English bull mastiff and I will actually have this kid's child.
Anyway in the middle of our conversation about dogs there was a lull. This is when out of NOWHERE he goes, "You know we could totally continue this conversation if you gave me your number."
DID YOU SEE THAT!? I almost high fived this guy for how slick he shot it into the conversation. Now I know what your thinking. Drawn on mustache, green face, spandex, surely an educated girl like Alexx would never ever give her number to such a person...
I texted him last night :D
His name's Logan and he plays cello. :)
Rachel shook her head at me when we left. Then we drove Rachel home in our truck with my father, me, and then her sandwiched against each other on the seats for the drive home. It was like traveling on your couch. We rode the entire way from Hamilton back to Fairfield. We talked about Texas, Rachel mocked her religion teacher, and my dad and I tried to explain a joke. You see we were making fun of hillbillies and my dad did an official voice and said "Are you illiterate?" And then changed it to a more hick-ish voice and said "No, my parents were married." My mistake was I giggled. Thus provoked the nearly ten minute discussion of trying to explain to Rachel the humor behind mixing up the words illiterate and illegitimate. She still doesn't get it, bless her little evil heart :) The drive was really nice though. Rachel, my dad, and I get along incredibly well, so it was like driving with my own little family on the way back.
But that wasn't the best part. We were hungry when we left the play. And you know where Rachel wanted to go???
Exactly. I have now eaten slyders for three days straight. My father told me that should be considered child abuse :)

Annie Lennox, slyders, and happiness :)

2009-04-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

Why is it I always feel bad at the most random time? That annoys me. Does anyone know how to keep hormones from affecting you? Just a thought. Considering that I did in fact have a good day, but I felt sad and left out in English today. Twas quite annoying. I hate when I feel like that.

Anyway it's always better to focus on the good. After feeling oddly left out in English, I had an audition for some sort of gifted program in Drama. I have no idea what it's for, or how it affects me or my Drama class actually. But the people watching me were from Ensemble Theatre of Cincinnati which is an equity house so hopefully they'll put a good word in for me for any of the times they need a non eq. actor...Plus, the people there didn't know what the gifted program was anyway, so I'm just trying to hope for whatever I can :)

But staying after school meant I got to wait for my ride with my friends who have ninth bells. And my friend Mitch was so sweet. Word apparently got around about my audition and when I ran into him he said "So how'd the audition go? Did you like TOTALLY ROCK IT!?" Then I giggled and said yeah and he gave me a hug. and gave me a hug. "You'll get in. You're gifted." That's what I love about my school. Right when I feel lonely and sad someone comes up out of no where and makes me feel loved. It's great. My friends have to be the greatest people on earth and I'm 600% grateful for them all the time.

I'm like that with my dad typically too. He picked me up today and reminded me it was only going to be us since my little brother and my mom went on a mini vacation for the next few days. Meaning we shot straight for White Castle :) We got eleven and split it sixty-forty . This was due to the fact if I ate six white castles, I would kind of...you know, DIE. And we spent the entire ride home cranking Lynard Skynard and Annie Lennox (which my dad actually SANG TO! It was so hilarious!!!xD) then when we got home we plugged his iPod into the speaker system, opened all the windows, and blasted everything from Frankie Valli, to Joni Mitchell, to the Boss. If anything ever happens to my mom and brother (GOD FORBID. GOD UNBEFREAKINGLEIVABLE FORBID. I love them so much!) I think it would be all right just dad and me if we got along this well. This is us when we're at our best. For the most part, I'm identical to him as far as his thoughts on politics, music and movie taste, dealing with friends...hell I even look like him. And the funniest part is he's like me too. On girly issues. For instance, on the way to school one morning, we had a long intricate conversation on the brutal effects of the modelling industry. Not only that, when we played Walking on Broken Glass he sang. Yes. My father belted Annie Lennox in the middle of the ghetto. :D How can you not love a guy that does that? So if Rachel didn't know that the pair of us were not the most normally shaped stars in the galaxy, when I opened my door to a house that had Born in the USA banging out of the speakers, she knows now :)

And that went well too! I called Rachel in school (hey we had a free day in math, shut up :) and she said she had an extra ticket for one of the local high school's rendition of Beauty and the Beast.

We knew almost every word to all the songs. :)

And we sang them until the two wrinkly curmudgeon ladies in front of us told us "Really? Do you really have to do that?" It was annoying that they'd completely forgotten how to be kids, but it was even more fun to come up with all the things we wanted to say to them on the way home. The best one we came up with was that we have a rare disease where if we do not sing we will die :) Or Rachel was just going to yell HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A KID!? Hey either way :)

Ahhhh, I love my life. Greasy food, good friends, and yeah I'm busy, but every time I am it's because of the arts. I am one rockin' fourteen-year-old :)

Sycamore Streets Greatest Improv Troupe :)

2009-04-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted anything over the past couple days. With Easter and then heading back to school I've been...well not the indescribably, overwhelmingly, drowning in artistic demands that I typically am, but busy enough to choose crashing instead of blogging when I get home. So for that, I am sorry. :)

Everything has gone great though. Yesterday while waiting for my ride home, Craig, Rannie, Michael, Skylar, Adam, and I were all standing there bored. Craig and I were talking about the random stuff we usually do when someone struck a weird pose. Come to think of it, if my memory serves me right I'm almost a thousand percent sure that someone was doing Thriller. My aunt wasn't there yet when Craig goes, "Oh my God! We should play...play...that one improv game!"

Leave it to Craig to be the one of us inspired by Thriller. Obviously, being a human being who lacks the power of ESP (Unfortunately.) I didn't know what he was talking about. But then he started describing it. "You know that one thing you play, you're in a mueseum and one guys the gaurd or whatever, and then everyone else is statues?"

No. Seriously that was the real answer. I had never heard of that before in my life. But awkwardly enough, I knew exactly what he was talking about.
Huh. Maybe I do have ESP ;)

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Mueseum!" I said, grabbing in the air for the first possible name I could make up. Yes I know. The limited knowledge I had of the game involved a muesuem and I call it Muesuem??? Yes I know, very unusual, but my brillance is that astounding sometimes. :)

"What's that?" Skylar asked. Craig and I explained the game, how one person is the curator and everyone else is supposed to be a statue in the meusuem. When the curator turns away from the statues they walk around and make funny faces or strike odd poses. The object of the game is the statues are supposed to make the craziest, zanniest, most awkwardly out there pose and or face that they can without the curator noticing their movements when he or she spins back around. Whoever's caught moving becomes the new curator.

And it amazing the living shit out of me to realize I knew every rule to a game I'd never played in my life. But it was SO AWESOME!!!:D We had the weirdest, stupidest poses in the world. You gotta love my friends...especially considering the face my aunt made when she pulled up to find her niece in a move that Michael Jackson could have used :) It was great.

Mama! x)

2009-04-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

I unfortunately didn't expect to do anything today, but actually did quite a bit. This makes me happy considering I can't stand to feel like I've wasted a day. It was nice though. My little brother and I rode our bikes to the park up by our house. It was a fun ride because even though it was frigging cold, it was still nice out and we met a really adorable, blue eyed six-year-old at the playground who my brother talked Halo with. Yes. My eleven-year-old brother got into a detailed conversation about a violent video game with a six-year-old. :) Anyway, he was cute. His name was Tyler and he showed me how he could go across the monkey bars and climb up a tree. I love little kids. I even hung upside down on the monkey bars, just to show him that I could actually do something cool. Considering I can't actually make it across the monkey bars to save my soul :)
After his mom called him back over, Evan and I rode back home and I spent an hour at a thrift store with one of my friends. I found all of one thing which caused boredom within me for the rest of the time because my friend wouldn't just let us leave. You can imagine my apperication when I saw her mom pull up. But it was okay, because we had a hilarious conversation on the way back about nudist colonies, so that made up for the awkwardness of being left at a thrift store x)
But the best part of the day was at night when my family babysat my cousin Gracie. She turned a year old in Feburary and she's the funniest and most beautiful baby I've ever known of. And I mean that seriously. Two of my third cousins or something on my mom's side of the family have babies and they are nowhere near as cute as Gracie is. And Gracie's much more fun to watch. Last night she tried to climb up on a leather chair we have in our family room, but her legs were too short. I wanted to help her, but it was hysterical to watch how detirmined she was. Don't worry though. I did help her after while and when she got up in the chair, she was so utterly amazed by the chair she was in. She hit the seat and the back in an attempt to drum and ran her hands along the rivets, and giggled whenever she kicked her legs around the chair. But the funniest thing was mama. Before Gracie discovered the chair, she would make me follow her into our kitchen. She'd stand next to our counter and look around and go, "Mama!" then she'd waddle back into our family room. She did it at least three times and since she doesn't usually get homesick, I didn't understand what she meant. Then the fourth or so time she did it, I looked at the counter. Where there was a glass of milk. I picked it up.
"Mama?" I asked. Gracie reached up greedily for it.
"Mama!" she agreed and she gratefully accepted the cup before sucking down hard on the straw.
Hey she's a baby. Mama meaning milk is actually one of the most educated guesses I think a baby could make x)

Happy Good Friday?

2009-04-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

Is there such thing as saying Happy Good Friday? I mean, doesn't that sort of contradict itself? Wouldn't Christians take that as, "Hey, today is the day that your one and only Savior died in a sickeningly brutal way. Have a nice day!" I dunno. I had a happy Good Friday so I was just wondering.

It was very happy. Last night I got to go see a movie with all of my old friends from Catholic school. It was the first time I'd seen them since we graduated 8th grade last year. The movie was Hannah Montana...and I do sort of hate her...with like a burning undying passion, but hey I was with my friends. And Rachel and I spent the entire movie debating on the cuteness of her outfits and calling dibs on every hot guy we saw. And by the way, if she ever sees this I would like to openly say that I have no idea the name of the guy who played Travis (Miley's love interest in the movie) ,but I TOTALLY SAW HIM FIRST! MINE!!! :D

I love Rachel Schwarz. She's been my best friend since 6th grade. Same with all the girls from Catholic school. I have permission to be indescribably girlie around them. Because my personality is as far from girlie as possible. I mean I do read magazine's like Teen Vogue and Seventeen and I love shopping(especially at bargain places) and I will admit that at this moment, I need a shower, a teeth scrubbing, and some eyeliner. I do have a few girlie points and I admit to them openly. But traits that lean more towards the typical teens of today, the texting craze, Clarie's, and any and all things involving the worship of Disney stars are things I try to distance myself from as much as possible. I mean not to insult anyone, but I'm a much bigger fan of Mickey than Miley, I have no desire to have access neon nail polish, fuzzy boots, and heart shaped Kanye glasses in one place (And come on heart shaped??? Really??), and if you have the phone in your hand to text me, how about you just call me? You know...this sounds crazy, but what if you used the device for what it was actually created for???

But that's what's so great about being with my Catholic school friends. To a degree, they force even me, the art school snob, to take part in things that are...well, normal. Not that I'm going to make it a regular habit. I'm quite attached to my indie movies, thrift stores, and coffee shops. I love my individuality. But I think it's good every now and then to be reminded that I don't have to look down on something just because I don't consider it artistic. I mean, I may not see it the same way as someone else does...and even if I am right, maybe it does me a little good now and then to be relatively, ever so slightly, just a little bit...dare I say it? Normal :)

Quick and Random Question

2009-04-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

Sword fights in the hallway before school are fun :) Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Well it seems like I'm kind of cruising through the week. Today was easy too. I had a great conversation with my friend Jenelle today. I finally found someone who feels the same way about guys as me. No one was in a bad mood today and everything just seemed to go well. It was a nice break from yesterday. Then I randomly crashed my little brother's skating party and skated around for about two hours. It was nice.
Anyway as far as my friend Jenelle, I want to tell you about our conversation because I love to get people's opinions. So maybe I should start at the beginning. It started when we were outside at lunch. Now at SCPA we have these fences around our 'playground' because people actually believe that it'll keep them out. And since it's downtown, people do walk by and some of them aren't the most...uh, role model worthy people in the world. And one of those people walked by during our lunch bell and started talking to this big group of girls who'd gathered by the fence around him. They were in sixth grade. He looked like he was over twenty. Luckily a security gaurd came and broke up the group of girls, but not before a girl who couldn't have been more than eleven at the most, attempted to give him her number. Look, I've lived in the suburbs nearly all my life so when I started going to school downtown, stuff like this really started to bother me. But I didn't speak up a lot because most of my friends have lived in the city all their lives and don't bother to say anything anymore. Luckily right when I started to be bothered by it, Jenelle started grumbling herself.
"God why the hell would you do that! You're a kid!" She was furious. It bothered her a lot too. We had a long conversation about how it bothered us. So I want to ask you guys. How do you feel about kids that young hitting on people?

Questions and Vocal Music

2009-04-08T15:30:00.000-07:00

Wow I am ecstatic to be home and free of obligations (finally!) I had one of those days that you couldn't say made any lasting damaging impact on your life, but you couldn't say made any lasting spirit lifting impact either. For instance I got to talk to Gabe. FINALLY! He caught me outside my first bell this morning with Rannie and Michael. He didn't come outside during lunch though, which sort of made me sad, but no big.
Also I heard back from my audition for the Vocal Music major at my school. And I made it! Starting next year I will officially be a member of SCPA's Women's Ensemble. And I drug my friend Miranda down so I could be with her for emotional support when she got the news about her audition. I was anxious for her really. Last year she didn't do very well at her audition and didn't make Vocal. But that's what made it even greater when our artistic director's secretary went "Oh, Miranda Wilhoite. Well I sent a letter to your mother. Hopefully you should get it in a few days...and congratulations you made it into Vocal." She was so happy! And I was just as happy for her. We jumped up and hugged each other and bounced around Dr. Rudnick's office for a full five minutes, making his secretary who'd brought us the good news giggle. "You two are so fun to watch!" she giggled right as we were on our way to go outside and celebrate. "You're the same height, you're both in black pants, you have the exact same type of Converse on..."
"We're just connected like that," I joked. "We've got a mental thing goin' on."
The only problem was our friend Marina who was walking down the hallway at the exact time we left the office with this other girl. We ran over to tell her the good news. "We just made Women's Ensemble!" I said through my excitement. That's when the girl she was with (Who's name I will not mention because I'm a nicer person than her.) did that laugh. You know the one. Adults do it when they run into their old ex or kids do it when mom says Saturday's going to be spent at Aunt Pearl's. It's that one laugh that implies that they really think that the situation sucks, but they can't openly admit that for fear of insult.
"Well, I can't SAY that's the bad choir," the girl started saying. "Though there are a bunch of people that just don't care about their major in there, and people who don't cooperate, and the there stupid people who just don't belong in this school." I'd also like to mention that her eyes got evil at this moment like she was thinking about someone in particular. Oooooo scandalous. "But then there's you guys. But yeah, Chorale is the place to be. Hopefully next year you'll be in Chorale. With me." She said this entire speech in one of those obnoxious sarcastic tones that's meant to imply fake sympathy while the person is really reveling in their superiority. And not only was that a hurtful thing to say to two people that were so excited, but it sort of killed my buzz about it. Oh well. I won't allow myself to dwell on it. After all, that girl's going to be a senior next year. After that I will no longer have to deal with her ;)
The rest of the day went all right except for the fact Daniel was in a bad mood today and whenever he's in a bad mood I have to be brought down with him. I hate it when he does that. I always end up feeling stupid and hurt just because someone made him feel inferior that day. You know it hurts to be his friend most of the time, but out of the two of us in the relationship, I think Daniel deserves more pity. Because not a lot of popular kids seem like they like him and I think that's because he has to use his sarcasm and insults as a shield. Then when someone is mean to him he typically takes it out on me because I'm the only one who's nice to him and he needs to feel superior to something. It's sad really. His inferiority complex is so huge he has to make fun of me and hurt me as bad as he does because he needs to feel as if something's beneath him.
I cope though. For instance...well for one I'm proclaiming his problems to the Blogger community :), but on a more serious note, I write him letters swearing at him and everything and asking him questions I've been burning to know and then I stick it in the envelope with balloons on it in my planner. It's actually a really effective tool for dealing with anger. You should try it if you ever want to wring someones neck. My friend Christina has read both of them and she wants me to give him the one I wrote today which involves a lot of swearing and hurtful things, all of which I know to be true by the way. I wouldn't give him that one unless he really hurt me, but I have another, MUCH less hurtful one that I'm tempted to give him...I don't know. What do you think?

Album?? Maybe :)

2009-04-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

I've been having a pretty nice week. :D School and people and everything have been going really well.
Second bell made me smile. Because Daniel's been in such a good mood all week. We had a very interesting discussion in Spanish about bubbles, drawing, pirates, and ninjas. He's a great guy when he's not being a jackass :) Plus I learned third bell that can actually do a Georgia accent. Yes I know random, but actually incredibly valuable information. But I'm excited for one reason today.
I think I may actually have a chance at producing an album before I turn 16.
Now keep in mind when I say produce an album, I mean that I'd like it to be able to sell a CD of my songs in local shops. For instance if 50 people in Cincinnati know my name because of it, I'd consider myself a success. An enormous success at that. So I decided to talk to my voice teacher about it.
Keep in mind I have no band. And no recording studio. And no resources in which to get either of those whatsoever. I actually thought that I may not have any chance to get any of my songs set to music until I learned to play guitar myself. I talked to Mrs. Routt and she took out her guitar right there and helped me transpose a song that I'd written. (In the hall...two minutes before I came into her room X) ) So I actually have a chance! I'm excited. :) It was a good day.
I still want to talk to my friend Gabe though. I really don't know why, but I've had this really awkward, random urge to talk to him for about 5 days. And it's driving me insane. I better run into him tomorrow or I'm gonna scream. I don't even have any reason I should want to talk to him. I just do.
Man I need to sleep :P And I still have two copies of a poem I have to turn in tomorrow. I should go type that. Later!

Mondays Mondays Mondays

2009-04-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

Monday, Monday, Monday. Blech :P

Well not so much. I have actually been suprisingly productive. For instance, my makeup work...some of it is actually DONE! I know! Though I still have an independent reading paper, math packet, and History questions to rewrite...maybe I should work on that too...

Anyhow it was actually an all right day. We discussed our Drama Night in acting class today. We're doing a class-wide fight to show off how much I we learned in our unit on stage fights. My friend Katie made it clear to everyone I was going to be Angelina Jolie. Making this clear, I am the LEAST Angelina Jolielike person in the entire world. But it sounds like it's going to be hilarious. And even though I really wanted to be Ellen Page, as long as I get to beat one of my friends with a fake baby, I'm cool :)

The other two greatest parts of the day were study hall and after school. Study hall is basically known as the part of day when I'm stuck in a desk sandwiched between three of my politically incorrect, yet oddly hysterical guy friends and two creepy seventh graders. You know as awkward as that sounds, in actuality, it is quite fun. It's a bit of a toss up though, considering my friend Daniel is the one in control of my mood in that class. He's the type of guy who isn't a jerk, but In his words, his "self defense mechanism" is that he acts like a smartass. Meaning, he's a jerk. And he's a hurtful jerk at that when he's in a bad mood. And considering I'm the only person who makes an open effort to be nice to him, I am the typical victim of his pissed offness. But he was all right today. He called me over to his desk and quizzed me on music like he does when he's in a good mood. It was nice. Actually, besides the comment to our friends Kali and Cedric that he didn't make any friends the first week of school (He met me in the back of a classroom on the first day.) he was actually a good guy today.

The next nice part was after school. I didn't get to stay very long, because my dad found me too quickly, but in the couple minutes I had outside, I got to talk to my friend Adam. He's adorable For instance today was the first time in the past two weeks it's been grey and bitter in Cincinnati. Not fridgid or artic or anything, just bitter. Meaning all of us are greatly angered whoever took away our hot weather seeing that we still have to wait outside for our rides. Adam was so sweet though. Because when I came outside in my thin hoodie, with my arms wrapped around myself tighter than the Christmas presents I got a few months ago, it was obvious I was freezing. "Uggggg, why's it have to be cold???" That's when Adam did something adorable and opened his arms and said

"I'll keep you warm if you want." He's such a good guy. He gave me a hug for as long as he could before Michael came over and was like "Our tongues intwine our tongues intwine our tongues intwine!!!" (Quote from one of our friends. You don't wanna know. :P) So in other words I have to punch him in the face tomorrow now :)

In reality though, I seriously enjoyed being able to talk to my friends all day. Jazmyn caught up with me before class, and Michael caught me at my locker, and Ginger proposed to me at lunch today XD I've missed a couple people a lot in the past couple days though. Like I've had an oddly huge desire to talk to my friend Gabe the past couple days. I have no idea why that is, but I just really, really feel like talking to him. Hm...weird. Maybe I should get off my blog before I do anything else weird :)

Danny and Greg...RUN. NOW :)

2009-04-05T11:26:00.001-07:00

Uhhhhhhh. Shower gooooood...

God, hot water has got to be the reason life is worth living. Anyone who is depressed or about to throw themselves off a building should take a shower. Seriously, all their problems would be solved...

Or I could just be in this mindset because it's the first time I've washed my sorry ass since Thursday night X) Ah, either way.

Anyway, sorry I haven't posted anything in the past couple days. I went to our cabin in Adam's County for the weekend...which is why I now feel the need to warn my cousins.
You see, my cousin Danny had a huge guy party for his birthday and during that huge guy party which most likely involved a lot of beer and a lot of bonfires (probably provoked by a lot of beer), it appears that all the firewood was used up. Meaning my family arrived at the cabin this weekend with nothing to burn in which to keep us from freezing to death. This wasn't too big of a problem because we had an axe and we were in the middle of the forest, so my uncle decided he would get the adults together and he would drive across this little creek, split more wood and then hull it back to the cabin.
During which my uncles back left tire sunk into the mud causing a very long, incredibly muddy twenty minutes in which everyone had to push the truck with all their might trying to move it from the hole the tire created. We eventually freed the truck of its muddy restraint, but not without getting our jeans as well as the truck, covered in a new shade of brown with was splattered stylishly across all of us.

Guys, if Jana and Joe haven't found you yet I suggest you enroll in Witness Protection.
NOW.

This is kinda long. This is my apology in advance XD

2009-04-02T16:18:00.001-07:00

Whoops! Sorry I forgot to blog yesterday. I had kind of a lazy April Fools Day and the house I was at didn't have a computer. Oops.

The past two days have been awesome though. My friend Jazmyn did this hilarious improv in the middle of class today where she pretended to be everyone's mama. It was hysterical! She zipped my hoodie up as far as it would go and then tied the strings in a bow and starting commanding me. "Sit up straight young lady! And you better eat your vegetables!" She scolded me for a bunch of things about manners, which made my stomach hurt with laughter that I held in. I mean after all, I can't laugh in my mother's face when she disciplines me ;) It was even funnier when my friends Emily and Katie got in on it too. Right when Jazmyn looked like she was losing material they'd jump in and go "Alexx is laughing!" or "Alexx called me ugly!" "Oh and she called me fat too!" But the best one was when Katie told Jazmyn that I said Mrs. Anderiadis (who is the very much disliked teacher of the class we were in) was prettier than her. I stopped laughing the second she said that and looked straight at her.

"I would not wish that one ANYONE. Katie, there is nothing you can possibly do to ever make me sink that low." Katie laughed and fist bumped me for that one :)

My friend was really cute today too. I won't name him because I don't want to embarrass him, but he gave me this little note today that read this.

Would you like to go out with me. but if not were still friends!

P.S.-your CUTE

The note was really cute itself I thought. I don't think I'll go out with him (I don't see him enough) but I really want to hug him for writing such a nice note to me. Plus it made me laugh to realize that nearly every love note I've ever received has never been grammatically correct :)
But my favorite thing that happened today sounds a lot more like child neglect than something that would add happiness to my day.
My aunt forgot to pick me up.
So I was left outside SCPA for about an hour and a half longer than I should have been.
And it was GREAT!
I finally got to talk to all the people that I'm forced to rush past at the end of the day. I spent forty-five minutes outside with Adam, Austin, Skylar, Michael, Rannie, Craig, and Stephanie who I usually only have three minutes with because I'm being called to my ride. We spent the entire time talking about people who liked me(Still don't know why that was a topic), talking music, laughing, threatening my life (well that was Stephanie x) ), and calling Adam Vanilla Ice when he made a sad, incredibly white attempt to rap. Well, actually only Skylar called him that, but I got weak. Then all my friends from ninth bell came out and I got to talk to Katie, Izzy, Rachel, Daniel, Bram, Emily, and Eben.(I know. I'm talking about lots of people. Sorry) Plus, I got to talk to Gabe, who I'd been trying to talk to all day. All of us discussed summer, how everyone can sing just some better than others, and how you could be dying but you force yourself to suck it up when you're with you're friends.

So in case any of you wondered what when through my mind today I hope you enjoyed those two separate random rundowns X) Okay, bottom line is I wasn't very happy when my dad pulled up an hour and half later to tell me I had to go.

Yesterday was even better though. My aunt picked me up and she told me she was cooking out tonight, but they didn't have any charcoal. Kroger is a fifteen minute walk from her house if you're a tortoise, but she said we may as well drive anyway.

"We have to get charcoal," she told me. "And I'm not dragging that huge bag all the way back from Krogers." I didn't even need to think before I volunteered. Only problem is, my aunt is one of those people who...well she's no frail 1957 housewife, but she's not exactly a short haired, makeup-less ultra feminist city girl either. In other words, she doubted me at first. And even when I made it clear I was going to carry it back she asked me if I was sure about twenty three and a half different times before we left...and the half was when I finished the sentence she started with "Yes Jennifer I'm sure I can carry it."

Okay. I'd been sick for the past two days, I still had a slight stomachache, and my arms are no where near to being the biggest bragging right on my body.

And I carried a nearly fifteen pound bag of Match Lite ALL THE WAY BACK!!!:D

Okay, I know that isn't a huge weight, but I'm weak and celebrate stupid things. Permit my happiness:)

And you know what? Not long after we got back, my uncle Randy got home...and made it clear that out of all the possible brands of charcoal we could have bought, Match Lite doesn't stay lit long and is one of the worst brands of charcoal you can by. Go figure the heavy thing I carry a mile and half back to the house is the thing we did wrong X)

My dad showed up to pick me up soon after. Only problem was a few minutes after my dad showed up I learned that my cousin Katie and her best friend Rachel were coming over in half an hour. I begged my dad to let me stay because Katie is the coolest person in the world. He denied of course being a slave to the man who's constantly just wanting to get home after he comes to get me, even though we were locked in a surprisingly gripping conversation in the kitchen about old movies. That's the one the pluses of having a family that talks so much and a dad that is flaunts that trait proudly. Every time my dad said "We have to go soon Alexx." I asked him and my uncle about movies or Twilight Zones. Questions like those typically keep my dad going for ten more minutes minimum. And I kept it up the entire time until I noticed a powder blue '88 Chrysler pull up and park across the street. When they came in, we talked about my vocal recital for a few minutes and then the three of us ran outside like three little kids to hang outside and sing.
Katie and Rachel are in their earlier twenties and they somewhat confuse me. The best description that I can think of it that they really are incredibly wise girls disguised with ditzyness. They have their moments, but when you ask them something about laugh they always seem to have a profound, moving, and surprisingly deep answer to your question...but it'll be in a Valley Girl accent. :) And every single chance that I get I talk to them. Because Katie is more like my sister than my cousin and Rachel is like part of my family too. And no matter how bad of a day I had, every time I talk to them no matter how bad of a day I've had talking to them always makes my day a good one. After a conversation with Rachel and Katie, or even just Katie I always makes me feel great about myself. Whatever I've accomplished looks bigger than it is and whoever makes me feel less is briefly seen as the dumb mean kid that they are.
My dad came out and joined our conversation afterwards. We were at my aunts house two hours longer than we needed to.
So all and all the past two days have been incredible. Sorry for the longness. And the randomness. I guess I should probably leave you on a less sappy note. Well I has a successful April Fools Day. I dyed all our toilets purple :) But considering I only had all morning and my mom had all day, when I got home my bathroom (which is the only one I kept untouched) had a jammed door, hot pink toilet, and soap scum on the mirror that read Look at that HUGE zit!!!!
The woman gets me every year :)

Ice Cream :D

2009-03-31T18:06:00.000-07:00

Hello again :) Okay I felt bad about how stupid my last post was, so I'm trying to make up for it's stupidness. Only problem was I had no idea of what I should blog so I asked people in my house. My mom said ice cream.
Therefore I will blog about ice cream :)
The only problem is that I don't know how to blog about ice cream, because everyone already knows how amazing and incredible ice cream is, so I can't just tell you something everyone all ready knows. So I'm starting a poll with one simple question.
If you could invent a flavor of ice cream, what would you call it and what would be the ingredients? The only problem is I would like you guys to send me a couple of weird names and tell me some ideas for what would be in an ice cream flavor with that name. Then I'll post a poll on my blog and we'll see who's ice cream flavor wins.
Hey, random, but it makes up for my last post right? :)

Comment now! I need ice cream flavors :)

Boredom

2009-03-31T14:32:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to report today. I stayed home because of yesterday's little incident, but I'm feeling a lot better. My mother helped a lot with that. I probably have the greatest mother in the world.
Anyway, I didn't do much today except run into my friend Noah when we went to pick up my brother. He's really nice and it was great to talk to him and all, but I just really want to be back at school with all my friends. I miss them a lot. Plus I need some funny stories for this blog and you don't need to venture very far into art school before coming up with at least five of those :)
God I'm tired. I'm sorry if this post sucks. I promise to write more when I have something to actually say.

Silver lining :)

2009-03-30T11:37:00.000-07:00

Today was not very fantastic :P I have never been that scared because of a sickness. Or as happy that my friends are who they are.
Okay, it started out like a normal day, my dad drove me to school, I got all my stuff at my locker and I was waiting outside first bell talking to a couple people I haven't seen since we were let out for spring break. That's when it started. This dull pain started in my stomach, but I just thought it was a small stomachache or something (I used to get them all the time when I was a kid), but soon it got to the point where I balled up my hoodie and decided to lay down in the hallway. When Mrs. Anderson opened up the door to Biology, I managed to get up and walk, but I put my head back down on the table the second I got to my seat. I'd dug around in my pack for my bottle of Advil a few minutes before I came into the classroom, so I just figured I'd lay my head down until it took effect. But that's when the problems started. My friend Emma came over to ask me if I was all right...
And it was a fight to get up my head and look at her.
I dropped my head back down the second I could. That's when I realized there was no way in hell I was going to be able to get through first bell. And no matter how much it hurt, I had to get up and get to the nurse. But when I stood up something happened that has never happened to me before.
I blacked out.
Since it's never happened to me and my stomach was throbbing by then, stumbling over to the door where my teacher was was NOT a fun experience. But somehow I made it, but I still held onto the wall like it was the only thing between me and the Manson family. My head started to feel airy and my words kind of stumbled out of my mouth, which got me weird looks from my teacher, who already thinks I'm stupid enough.
"Mrs. Anderson can I go to the nurse?"
*mumble mumble*
"What?"
"I said yes! Just go!" As you can tell my Biology teacher cared deeply about the health of her students :P
It hurt to walk. I wobbled the few feet down the hallway that I could, but couldn't keep myself up and any longer and fell against the post that was at the turn in the staircases. I had no clue how I was going to get to the nurse. I was about to cry at this point, because of the pain and the fact I didn't think I would get help for it when the one good thing that happened today took effect.
"Alexx?" Was that voice from the inside of my head? "Alexx? Honey are you okay?"
No it wasn't. I knew that voice belonged to one of the very loving best friends of mine Rachel Peters.
"You don't look so good." God I knew that voice too. Was the Deidra? It sounded like her. But my head and vision and hearing was too blurry to know for sure.
"I'm really sick," were the only words I could get out. "I gotta...get to the nurse."
"Okay, we'll help you get there."
My friends have got to be the greatest people in the world. Rachel and Deidra walked me all the way to the third floor nurse's office and made sure she was there and that I was okay. And when they had to leave the only thing I heard was "I love you Alexx!" and "I hope you feel better."
I'm at home now, but guys if you see this I just wanna let you know that you guys are angels :) Seriously. Who knows what would've happened if I'd had to make it down there on my own. It means a lot to me that you guys made sure that I was okay. And I'm feeling a lot better since this morning. But I should probably rest still. Just wanted the Web to know how grateful I am for having such caring friends.

Yeah, sorry for the sappyness people. But my friends really are the most amazing people in the world. :)

Attempting to be productive at 2 o'clock in the morning

2009-03-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

Ugggggggh. Well it is officially 2:03 Eastern standard time and in about...oh give or take three and a half hours, I have to get up and go to my first day back at school after spring break. Yeah. This is about the time of night that I start to regret my sugar intake over the past week.

So let's review my activities shall we? I flipped through my library books for about an hour, snuck downstairs, finished watching the last half of Evening (Which I thought was very well written, I especially liked the bittersweet ending) and I'm currently watching Planet Earth's Jungle episode as I'm attempting to come up with something to blog about...

Well I do have one idea.

One of the library books I was thumbing through upstairs is a book called Life Lists for Teens and on page...I think it was 77...oh screw it let me check. Nope. 187. I'm a genius. :P Anyway, the list is 10 Myths about Teens-and how to set the record straight. It's an interesting list and I think Life Lists for Teens has the right idea about what I should do about it.

Let's start at the beginning shall we?

#1. Teens can't handle the responsibility, or complex and serious issues like sex, drugs, death, or illness.

Really? Oh. So then why is it that according to Bridget Grant, chief of the Laboratory of Epidemiology and Biometry at the U.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism alcohol abuse is greatest amongst 30-60 year-olds? Also why is it that more than half of the prescription drug abusers in the this country (56% of them) are 18 or older? I do believe that all of these are tough issues, but it doesn't particularly appear that adults are handling them much better than their children.

#2. All teenage girls are boy crazy.

Okay, have you ever heard that story on the news about an older female teacher having 'inappropriate relations' with a younger male student of hers? You know what I think every time I hear that story? I wonder why the hell an older educated woman like herself would have ever been interested in a teenage boy when I'm a girl in their age group and I don't find half of them attractive.

#3. Teens can't form a complete, like, sentence.

Hello. My name is Alexxandra. I am 14 years old. I heard you did not believe I could form a complete sentence. Is this true? :)

#4. Every new interest you decide to explore is 'just a phase'.

You know I'm pretty sure something along those lines was probably told to a fifteen-year-old boy around the year 1896 when he picked up a paintbrush to try his hand at art. You know what his name was? Pablo Picasso.

#5 All teens believe the world revolves around them. Their favorite words are 'me', 'mine', and 'I'.

Recently at my school we were struck with the tragedy of the brutal murder of a 7th grade girl who played cello and was involved in choir at SCPA. Someone I'm acquainted with, who is a sophomore was incredibly touched by the news and was sobbing hysterically when he learned the news. Once it had set in, he went down to our library and made cards to put on her locker.
I found out later that he'd never met the girl in his life.

#6 Teenage girls are either rolling their eyes, snapping their gum, or flipping their hair.

I swear on my life that I am a healthy fourteen year old girl and my eyes are currently on the computer screen, my fingers are on the keyboard away from my head, and I haven't had a piece of gum in a week. Really. I promise.

#7 All teens have a telephone glued to their ear at all times.

This has become less true as technology has progressed. With the development of networks such as MySpace, Facebook, and the texting crazy, nearly every teenager I know would rather tighten their braces by hand before they'd call someone.

#8 All teenage guys have raging hormones.

Okay I do unfortunately agree with this...well not really. Just MOST of them. You can't apply something to ALL teenagers. :)

#9 All teens are troublemakers and juvenile delinquents.

Katie Simon is a sixteen-year-old Boston native. When she learned about the human atrocity that is the global sex trade, she held a garage sale and raised $6,500 for an organization whose goal is to put an end to trafficking. But she didn't feel that was enough.
The charity Katie created, known as Minga, has raised over $51,000 to help fund a home for formerly abused girls and helped build a rehab center for exploited children in the Philippines.

You were saying?

#10 Your biggest problem is figuring out what to wear
Well duh! It's not like our ultra sensitive hormones have to worry about relationships, or being liked, or if anyone's talking about you, or if you can keep up with your school stuff, or if you parents think you're a delinquent, or if your friends really like you, or if you're good enough.
Look, not only are at the one stage in our lives when we've been asked what our plan is, we're facing our life and trying to figure out our plans while puberty has got us drunken on hormones.
What are we NOT worried about!?!?

Just wanted to set those straight.

(Oh and by the way, I know the title of this blog and the actual posting time that's going to come up, contradict themselves. This isn't because I'm lame enough to lie to you about the time that I blog. This is simply because I almost fell asleep halfway through this post last night X) Just thought I'd let you know.

Go see Slumdog Millionare NOW. Do not question. Just go :)

2009-03-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

Hey sorry I lacked to blog yesterday :P I was in Ludlow the entire day. It was a lot of fun. I blew about seven dollars on bumper stickers for the walls in my room.But hey it's worth it! They all said crazy liberal stuff like KILL YOUR TELEVISION and Draft SUV Drivers First and I FINALLY got my Coexsist sticker, that has that word, but written like it's made out of all the different religious symbols. But my favorite is this smaller one that's white and red and says Eat Organic. My dad is against any form of food movement, including the vegan movement, vegitarian movement, and especially the organic movement, because he says the food is overpriced, and not properly pasturized, and unnessary...
Therefore, it's going on the back of his pickup :)
And my mom and I ate in this really interesting and awesome coffee shop with all these crazy statues and stuff on the wall and this chocolate cake and expresso ice cream that the Pope would have sold himself to the devil for. By my favorite part about the place was the quote it had written around the border of the ceiling. And I probably looked like an idiot, but I think I managed to get it all down.
It said something like this.

Revelry-chairs root. Their hearts are runged with snow. Curtains grow velvet thick,

Like bark, in this warm landscaperinged with dark.

Is passion only revelry?

Our voices believe words and move free. Lust warms our lips.

Blood moves our skin, we bend alive around cup and cloud.

These are the hours we revel in.

I think I understand it, and I really adored how flowing and poetic it was. You should have seen how weird I looked craning my neck around the room to scribble it onto my little notepad X)

Next, we went to go see Slumdog Millionare at this little independent theatre called The Esquire. Both of us had wanted to see it for a long time and since it won best picture, now we decided we were sort of required to.

Oh my God.

The movie was well written, and the acting was incredible, and it was filmed in a very interesting artistic way, but just...wow. I couldn't move when the credits came up. Second only to The Dark Knight, (And I'm even debating that right now) it was easily the most intense film I've ever seen. I mean I recomend it highly, I definitely think you should go see it...but it isn't for the faint of heart. There's no gore and no sex, but something about it...probably that fact the the violence you see if very cruel and involves children for the first half of the movie. But it's an incredible movie. The poster will be mine the second I see it :)

So after two hours of emotional disturbance, we picked up my two little cousins and came home and spent the rest of the night watching Disney movies. Yes. We went from Slumdog Millionare to Lilo and Stitch within a matter of hours. How's THAT for broad taste? :)

But the best part of the day was around eleven o'clock when the youngest one of my cousins, who's only barely a year old, fell asleep. My dad offered to take me to White Castle...at eleven o'clock at night...in the rain :) So I stole his enormous, but cozy Yellowstone hoodie and dawned my Knoff's hat I got in Adam's County and hopped into the shotgun seat in the front of our red pickup. So we sped off to White Castle and I sat there in my hat, hoodie, and Happy Bunny pajama pants (which would soon be accompanied by a mouth full of slyders) and reviewed the independent film I'd seen that day for my father.

I am SO cool :)
Hey I love art, and culture, and coffee shops with every vibrating fiber within my soul, but hey, I proudly (And publicly XD ) display the broad stroke of hillbilly I've got in me :)

It's a purple T-shirt and old skinny jeans type of day

2009-03-27T12:36:00.000-07:00

Everything seems to be moving so slow. I got out of bed at 1 o'clock today and as nice as that was, it kinda feels like I slept away the day. Oh well, I guess I AM on spring break. Still though, even though I'm a teenager, it sucks to feel like you're lazy.
In other news, I finally mailed in the information Destination Broadway needed from me. So it's official! I'm going to New York!!! Whooooooooo! For those of you who don't know, Destination Broadway is this summer camp in midtown Manhattan where kids ages 8-18 go to learn different dancing, acting, singing, and audition technique to help them when they enter acting's professional world. There are only about 140 spots and kids across the country audition for it...
And I'm going to New York the week of July 12th. :D
I really don't know how I got in, but I'm extremely excited and pretty nervous. I mean a lot of the kids have a lot more dance experience than me and I don't know if everyone's going to be accepting and loving and funny like at my school or if their going to be crazy, narcissistic, sociopaths who will stop at nothing to ruin another person. I REALLY hope their not. And I don't think they will be. Because I thought that people at my school would be like that, but SCPA is really the most loving place I've ever been in my life. I really hope every artist has a place like that. Anyone who feels a need to grow creatively and make friends along the way deserves to have access to that much love and knowledge.

Hey any of you who are into art and live in my area should check it out!
Just go to http://scpa.cps-k12.org/
And if you're into performing arts and you don't live in my area, (and even if you do) and you want to audition for an opportunity to go to New York, you should look at Destination Broadway too!
http://www.destinationbroadway.org/Home.html

Okay I'm done working as an advertiser now X)

It looks like it's going to be a rainy day in Cincinnati. That's okay though, because I actually really like rain. I'm gonna go make some tea and listen to some music. I'm relaxing today :) Arrivederci bloggers!

To anyone watching Taking the Stage tonight

2009-03-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, though I usually do not involve myself with the usually fake, ditzy, completely airbrushed "reality" station that is MTV, I'm a freshman at The School for Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati so I watch Taking the Stage every week to keep a look out in the background for my friends and teachers and possibly even me. And I would like to make something clear to the world about their episode tonight.
Okay, no matter what MTV told you, the dance they showed you, was NOT homecoming.
Our real homecoming was held at the Sydicate in Newport, Kentucky and did not involve a dance competition of any kind. Also, it was a formal dance, the room was NOWHERE near as lighted, and unforunately no student bands were there to perform. We had a DJ.

Just thought you'd like to know :)

P.S. Aaron and Mia, you guys should have won! I mean everyone that did was good, but you guys were frigging AMAZING!:D

I love this.

2009-03-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

Hey I was screwing around on urban dictionary and found this random definition of an indie girl.

Indie Girl

To tell you the truth, there's really no definition of an indie girl. Being "indie" is a state of mind--not a fashion statement. There's no way to be an indie girl. You just are. If you happen to be a girl and you listen to independently produced music, watch independent movies, and if you stray away from anything mainstream then, yeah, you're an indie girl. Indie girls don't indentify themselves as indie and they most definitely do not shun other people because of their tastes in music/movies/clothes/etc. Indie girls don't just listen to music because it's indie. Indie girls don't shun music because it's not rock. That's stupid. Indie music could be anything. Rock, rap, folk, anything. That's it, I guess.
You're not an indie girl if you have to say it.

I just really hope I can be described as this one day. :)

DREW BARRYMORE IS SHORT! REPEAT! DREW BARRYMORE IS SHORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go tiny people! :D

2009-03-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

I get excited by simple things, please bear with me X)

As a girl who has never reached a farther measurement on a height chart than 5'1, I am well aware of the predujices against short people. We are the silent suffers of discrimination because we cannot do things tall people can do such as reach the Lucky Charms on the top shelf at the grocery store. We are the butt of many short jokes as well as the ones who must wear the four inch stilletos, not because they are a fashion statement (Though, not to brag, but I do consider my purple snakeskin pumps to be the envy of rock and roll groupies everywhere :) but because they make us normal height. And with so many admirable people having normal to above average heights, it's annoying to have to look for role models with a height of under 5'4.
Well today I recieved news of a triumph for short people everywhere.
Drew Barrymore, 50 First Dates, Never Been Kissed, Riding in Cars Drew Barrymore, is short :)
Today at the Taft Muesuem of Art in Cincinnati I was lucky enough to see their exibit known as Fashion in Film where the mueseum showcases various dresses from movies such as Titanic, Dangerous Liasons, and Elizabeth the Golden Age. Though all of the dresses were exquisitely beautiful, and ornately decorated my favorite one was the one shown at the beginning of the exibit, an embrodiered grey gown with a single interesting trait that set it apart from all the rest...
The wings attached to the back of it.
Upon reading facts about the dress on at plaque below the gown it became clear to me that this was the exact dress worn by the Drew in the ballroom scene in Ever After. And I have something to report.
The dress wasn't much bigger than me :)
So short people of the world, I would like to report, she's barely 5'4.

I do not know why that made me so happy, but it did X)

Oh yeah. #140 on my list if officially checked off :)

2009-03-24T18:00:00.000-07:00

Ciao bloggers!:D Hey guys! Well this gives me the right to check #140 on my Bucket List off. I've officially started a blog :) Anyway, I guess I should tell you who I am. Well, I'm Alexx Rouse a Cincinnati native who's currently working on completing my freshmen year at School for Creative and Performing Arts. I've been involved in theatre since I was 11 and I hope to one day turn it into a career. But I also love to write which is the exact reason I'm here. But as far as what I'll write about, I'm not completely sure yet. I may tell you how my day went, review some movies, give you some tips, tell you about my bucket list...who knows?
Guess you're just gonna have to comment and find out ;)